this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2025
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TranscriptionA Twitter post by Dana Schwartz @DanaSchwartzzz that reads Whenever I scold my cat, I use the royal we" so she doesn't feel so ashamed. “We don't eat that. We don't chew on electrical cords," I say. It's as if I, too, have a problem with eating wires or plastic I found on the floor and she and I are working on that problem together.

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[–] Successful_Try543@feddit.org 89 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

It's as if I, too, have a problem with eating wires or plastic I found on the floor and she and I are working on that problem together.

That's precisely not the royal we. The royal we would imply that she means only herself and not herself and her cat.

[–] petersr@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago

Came to the comments to say this.

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 26 points 1 month ago (2 children)

OMG I just realized that this is how my therapist talks to me.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You don’t have to answer that!

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

We don’t have to answer that.

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Yeah. What we said.

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don't... think so.

I mean, she'd have to tell me if I was a cat, right?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure that's the law

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 2 points 1 month ago

Oh thank god :3

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

... like you are an idiot child?

Either you are, or you have a very bad and disrespectful therapist.

[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 18 points 1 month ago

I just say no in a firm voice and flick my hand at them like it's a paw.

They find the flick very offensive for some reason, so it seems like an effective scolding technique.

Of course if there's an alternative they should be doing I try redirecting them to that, but sometimes there isn't (like climbing on the top of the kitchen cabinets and staring down from the ceiling).

[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I do that with my dog. "We don't need to pee on every bush we pass".

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

Speak for yourself.

[–] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

“Oh my love, I love you much * scoop * here are some kisses. Let’s not play with cords. Cords are not safe. Oh look here are some spring toys!” * plays with spring toys like they are my favorite thing *

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Spring toy! Do you also have the bird toy :3

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

“We don’t bite our friends”

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 month ago

That other cat is chill as fuck.

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

My cat started chewing the recharger cord while still conected. She is extremely traumitized so I can't be too loud or mean with her but I am worry she will electrecute herself so now I charge my phone in the bathroom and leave the door close. am I crazy? yes. But I don't have the heart

[–] limelight79@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I had to banish my first cat from the bedroom. He'd start chewing wires to get me to react - which worked, because I didn't want him to be electrocuted - to get him breakfast.

I loved that cat, and I hated to do it, but I can't have him chewing wires.

Later in his life he was allowed back into the bedroom. He'd come into the bedroom while we were prepping for bed, then curl up under the blankets with me for a while, then leave for the rest of the night.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's so sweet. We bottlefed my first soulcat. The rest of their life, they would drape themselves on top of my arm for comfort. They slept on top of/along my arm at night. I haven't slept well since they passed

[–] limelight79@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

We have one now, actually the successor to the cat I mentioned above, who likes to relax on my arm. Right now he's catloafing on one of my legs, not sure what's up with that, but his usual position is to lay across my left arm.

We have another that cuddles with me at night. Occasionally I'll wake up, and he'll realize I'm awake and demand cuddles. He's pretty good about not waking me up, usually.

[–] 1984@lemmy.today 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Plot twist: the cat is training her human to pay attention to her...

[–] wowwoweowza@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

You’d make an excellent parent of a human, too.

[–] paraphrand@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Not eating plastic is a constant battle in my house. Thin shopping bags are a favorite.

[–] CubitOom@infosec.pub 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Couldn't that be confusing for the cat, saying we don't do something that they are currently doing?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

"is that an approved scratch-/chew-/biteable?" is what I use. I think they understand because they react with shame abs go to the approved scratchers and stuff

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Clearly it can’t be the cat’s problem.

[–] theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 month ago

Yep good make sure your cat doesn't feel like you're singling them out for criticism.

[–] JustAnotherPodunk@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I just want to know how to make them stop with the cable chewing. I've repaired or replaced so many electronic cords. I'm losing my mind.

I'm learning that I am not a cat person.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Give them something better to chew on. We have flowers growing outside most of the year, so our cats get wildflowers to chew on

[–] JustAnotherPodunk@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Yeah my house plants are also victims in this situation. They literally destroy everything I love.

I tried putting chili oil on the cables and now I'm convinced that my cats could eat the most potent of Indian food and remain unscathed.

I think they crave it now...