this post was submitted on 24 Feb 2026
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Look at that child radiate happiness! They're positively glowing!
"Louis, time to stop playing and come to dinner!"
Non-magical??
This is literally one of the most magical things we have.
Magic rock go boom
This and putting lightning in rocks to do math.
Going to become insanely OP when I find a way to make myself immune to radiant damage.
Plumbum Armour, but I'm concerned about the movement...
When you're doing 30d12 to everything within line of sight, movement penalties become less of a concern.
Let my enemies behold their slowly-approaching, inevitable doom!
They won't be able to see you, but there are like 30 other human senses + made up ones
And the reduction of your Intelligence stat after you wear it
Lead lined armour with tinted lead crystal face shield, lead woven gambeson and skull cap... you can't have any gaps.
This reminds me that there's a quick reference in the Mage Errant series that one of the most powerful characters in the world actively hunts down and exterminates anyone who shows an elemental affinity to a "poisonous yellow stone", fearing it's power and potential for unintended harm to the user and those around them.
As a boring killjoy D&D rules lawyer, I might point out that this will definitely lead to “them” winning, since you are killed when you attune, and therefore can never deal the 1d8 bludgeoning + 30d12 radiant damage.
Isn't attuning only for magic properties that you have to activate? The post seems to treat it like something it just does, like a silver weapon.
I’m not aware of any nonmagical items that require attunement, so I think that point also stands. If you were to use such an item without attunement and it were magic, you would do the bludgeoning damage and not the radiant damage.
It's non magical, therefore attunement is not required for the effect. Attuning is a process, right? You spend time with the item, maybe fiddle with all the bits, really understand what it does and how it works. If you attempt to undertake that process with this item it will kill you.
Furthermore, that extra damage should really be conditional, you might not always close the demon core on impact. Maybe on an 8 for damage it's such a direct hit that the radiant damage triggers
The effect is not instant, you only die days later. Short term (like a fight) there is no change.
Mmm this is a good interpretation. You get radiation poisoning and only die later. If for whatever reason, this item appeared at my table and we needed to adjudicate this, I would totally accept this reading.
Past a certain point death is a formality in d&d, so I don't think that's true.
I thought death broke attunement, and you had to reattune after being resurrected?
You are right, forgot about that. But someone else mentioned already it's nonmagical so i guess the attunement caveat is just for flavour
If you carried it long enough, you’d have a pretty good chance of gaining a mutation that prevents HP loss from the cancer cells.
I love this so much. I have to figure out a way to work this into my next session.
Welp, that was fun, ready for the new setting next session?
Lol. I would obviously need to work in some fun and potentialy precarious radiance immunity mechanic.
Edit: maybe a lord of the rings where you have to destroy the enemies weapon. One option is to detonate it. "Let there be light!"
"Ah, but I have relentless endurance!"
Oh sure, but when I created the plutonium golem, that was too dangerous. Pfft.
Edit: would heavy lead full plate armor help?
Would have to be heavy enough that you couldn't move. You'd be a sitting duck for the bludgeoning damage
If we were still on Reddit, I would link r/explainthejoke. What is this about?
What if I wore lead armor?