Mr. Pickles the vase was found on the floor in pieces by the lady of the house.
You were witnessed on the mantle shortly after the incident.
What is your defense?

Meow?

That's convenient. It seems to be an odd coincidence indeed. And yet we have a long list of witnesses of your blatant disregard for elevated objects.
I myself witnessed you dislodge a flower pot last week. Can you explain that as coincidence?

Mrow.

No. No you can't. With all these repeat offenses how are we supposed to judge you?

Meow.

Yes I see. That's right. You are indeed a cat. We don't judge you. You judge us.

[–] emeralddawn45@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

In that case i hope youre not giving them free room and board.

[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 4 points 7 months ago

Sometimes it feels like it’s their house and I’m just living there, but I earn my keep by providing meals.

[–] Skua@kbin.earth 73 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I did this recently when I walked past someone's garden and their pet sheep came over to see me. I was happily chatting away to the sheep about how much it had been munching away and how hot it must be with all that wool when a very confused postman I had not noticed responded

[–] Skua@kbin.earth 95 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Also, here is said sheep

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 11 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Who tf has a pet sheep?

[–] grte@lemmy.ca 59 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Hey everyone, check out this guy who doesn't even have a pet sheep.

[–] pinball_wizard@lemmy.zip 12 points 7 months ago

who doesn't even have a pet sheep.

"You can't say everyone has a pet sheep, when everyone does not have a pet sheep. We're going to get nasty letters saying 'Where's my pet sheep? Why don't I have a pet sheep?'"

Dr Archibald from VeggieTales spits his drink in shock

[–] miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 7 months ago

Why would that be, I wonder...?

[–] Skua@kbin.earth 14 points 7 months ago

Farmers, I assume. It was a small village with a lot of farms

[–] Gerudo@lemmy.zip 4 points 7 months ago

Here in the states at least, it can get you an agriculture tax break. Lots of people will have pet goats, sheep, donkeys etc..

[–] miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 7 months ago

Does it deliver your mail, though?

[–] SabinStargem@lemmy.today 24 points 7 months ago

DM: "You rolled a natural 1 on your charisma check. What is your response to your neighbor's question?"

Player: "I was searching for my pussy!"

[–] cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone 14 points 7 months ago

i hope whoever that 40 year old man is - wherever he is - is having a good day <3

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 7 points 7 months ago

You made that guy's day jsyk

[–] BurgerBaron@piefed.social 6 points 7 months ago

I talk sweet to my cats too! The words aren't because it's endlessly self amusing to insult them without their knowing. Haven't been caught by a stranger yet.

[–] OrteilGenou@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago

That's hilarious

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 2 points 7 months ago

Uncle Monty meme

[–] SolidShake@lemmy.world 0 points 7 months ago

Damn. So this woman can't take a joke whatsoever then? Explains the cat at least.