Eldritch Mlems

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founded 2 years ago
ADMINS
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This time I got it! 🥳😁

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Wise words (piefed.cdn.blahaj.zone)
 
 
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Autumn's here (piefed.cdn.blahaj.zone)
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Allowing softness (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by theresa@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
 
 

Today, a particularly nice afternoon with some tea and a good book made me aware of one of the greatest things about transition for me: Allowing myself to be soft and permitting softness in my life.

Pre-transition I always felt this toxic need to be hard, to be a man, to be strong and never show emotion. I was trapped in the narrow role men are allowed in cishet-normative society. I felt like the world wanted me to be this boulder without feelings. I even went to the gym to "toughen up", I never went out of my way to make my apartment more comfortable, I never sent heart emojis, I didn't empathise with others nearly as much as I do now.

Now, a year and a half into medical transition and a good two years into social transition, I am so so soft. Physically as well was emotionally and spiritually. My hands are soft, uncallused. My nails are so pretty. My skin is soft. I adore soft fabrics, I'm currently wearing velvet pants that just spark joy. I love curling up in bed in soft blankets, with plushies. I love warmth. I love the feeling of my soft rug when I get out of bed. I allow myself to be soft, to cry when hurt, to feel my emotions. Hell, to feel, at all! I love texting my friends cute things, I love lifting them up and making them feel good when I say I love them. I don't feel bad when I complain about something being hard or cold or unpleasant. I'm a softie, and that's not only okay, that's great!

Feel free to comment if you've had a similar (or different!) experience :) Just sharing a conversation starter here.

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She has spoken (piefed.cdn.blahaj.zone)
 
 
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Oh hai (piefed.cdn.blahaj.zone)
 
 
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submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by MystValkyrie@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
 
 

cw: TERFs and general transphobia

For the most part, I avoid Reddit like the plague, but when I'm feeling sad, I find myself going on r/terf_trans_alliance, and then I feel worse.

I don't know what drives them to participate, but the minority of trans posters are ridiculed, subjected to abusive comments, and mass downvoted for any attempt to get through to them in a way that isn't absolute self-flagellating placation. Some things I noticed after just a minute or two of scrolling:

spoiler

  • The term "TRA"
  • Accusations of male socialization, with some gaslighting when trans people try to discuss their personal experiences about their upbringings that do not fit the narrative
  • Accusations of "mansplaining"
  • Assumptions that trans women are predatory
  • Assumptions that trans women have an entitlement complex
  • Accusations that trans women conform to rigid misogynist stereotypes, but also that trans women are too masculine to embody what they identify as
  • Assertions that trans women defending themselves need to accept male privilege, comparisons to white fragility
  • The comparison of being trans to a cultist religion
  • The insinuation that upvotes or kind words "shields trans people from reality"
  • Casual references to trans women, whether indirectly or directly to trans commenters/OPs, as men or males
  • The likening of trans women to white supremacists

There's this stereotype that Reddit is this liberal echo chamber, but I seem to know all of the many places where it's not, and I seek out those places when I know they'll hurt me.

For those of you just on Lemmy, what are your strategies not to stray back to Reddit?

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  1. Folders for everything – the ultimate organization!
  • folders for all content types!
  • Makes organization even easier 🙂
  1. Quick and easy Image Management for your worldbuilding
  • doesn’t re-load the page as you use it
  • access images WHILE you write articles, etc
  • more mobile friendly
  1. New Worldbuilding Notebooks keep you organized!
  • slides over your current work, for easy note taking as you work mobile friendly
  • aesthetic upgrades to help you make notes prettier
  • new “metadata” tags make organization even easier
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55 Dungeon Rations (nothicseye.blogspot.com)
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