I'm turning 40 this year, and I started injections a couple of months ago. My libido and ability to get erections have not really changed at all; the only real difference is that I don't have morning wood anymore and I find that I tend to use my imagination more than porn nowadays to finish if I'm on my own. Smut books are wonderful, lol. Still early but I am pretty happy with retaining function so far, it was the thing I was most worried about.
Re: passing, and other people's concerns:
Respectfully, who gives a shit what other people think? If a bigoted patient was uncomfortable because you were a person of color, or a cis woman, or a gay man, or disabled, would that be acceptable? Should someone hide those things for the sake of said bigot? What makes being trans any different? Don't let fear of assholes stop you from being who you want to be. They're gonna be assholes anyway. Be an enby if you want or go full woman if you find that suits you, or be gender fluid or whatever, but do it because you want to, not to avoid stepping on someone else's toes. I'm an old punk so maybe I'm biased toward being actively visible, but fuck those people. I can't tell you what to do, and stay safe, obviously, but don't hide your light under a bushel; the world would be lesser for it.
You sound a lot like me 6 months ago, though, as far as not knowing where you might fall on the gender spectrum. At that point the only thing I knew for sure was that I was sick of pretending to be a man and I wanted out. I thought of it as "defecting", lol. I've gone from "I'll be an enby because I'll never pass as a girl" to "I wanna be a pretty pretty princess, let's do makeup tutorials and look like a clown" to "I'll just be a butch lesbian, where are my cargo pants and flannel, I already own that" to "I wanna be exclusively made of goth eyeliner and oversized hoodies and thigh highs" to "maybe I'm actually some kind of horny chaos gremlin, and it's more fun if what's in my pants is a mystery". Next week I will probably feel differently. It's a real exploration of a space I previously thought I wasn't allowed into; I am "boldly going where no man has gone before", lol. It's a lot to take in and exploration takes effort and time, but it's very rewarding to learn about what I like and don't like. Turns out there's a lot of ways to be a person.
Also hey, good job for asking. It's scary to ask for help, often the hardest part. You got this. If you wanna talk more I'm open to messages and happy to talk about my experience.
Re: sexual changes:
I'm turning 40 this year, and I started injections a couple of months ago. My libido and ability to get erections have not really changed at all; the only real difference is that I don't have morning wood anymore and I find that I tend to use my imagination more than porn nowadays to finish if I'm on my own. Smut books are wonderful, lol. Still early but I am pretty happy with retaining function so far, it was the thing I was most worried about.
Re: passing, and other people's concerns:
Respectfully, who gives a shit what other people think? If a bigoted patient was uncomfortable because you were a person of color, or a cis woman, or a gay man, or disabled, would that be acceptable? Should someone hide those things for the sake of said bigot? What makes being trans any different? Don't let fear of assholes stop you from being who you want to be. They're gonna be assholes anyway. Be an enby if you want or go full woman if you find that suits you, or be gender fluid or whatever, but do it because you want to, not to avoid stepping on someone else's toes. I'm an old punk so maybe I'm biased toward being actively visible, but fuck those people. I can't tell you what to do, and stay safe, obviously, but don't hide your light under a bushel; the world would be lesser for it.
You sound a lot like me 6 months ago, though, as far as not knowing where you might fall on the gender spectrum. At that point the only thing I knew for sure was that I was sick of pretending to be a man and I wanted out. I thought of it as "defecting", lol. I've gone from "I'll be an enby because I'll never pass as a girl" to "I wanna be a pretty pretty princess, let's do makeup tutorials and look like a clown" to "I'll just be a butch lesbian, where are my cargo pants and flannel, I already own that" to "I wanna be exclusively made of goth eyeliner and oversized hoodies and thigh highs" to "maybe I'm actually some kind of horny chaos gremlin, and it's more fun if what's in my pants is a mystery". Next week I will probably feel differently. It's a real exploration of a space I previously thought I wasn't allowed into; I am "boldly going where no man has gone before", lol. It's a lot to take in and exploration takes effort and time, but it's very rewarding to learn about what I like and don't like. Turns out there's a lot of ways to be a person.
Also hey, good job for asking. It's scary to ask for help, often the hardest part. You got this. If you wanna talk more I'm open to messages and happy to talk about my experience.