Thedogdrinkscoffee

The dookomancer Dia Rhea.

(She makes the fart golems that raised OPs Dr. Fart by virtue of her skill in the fine arts of dookomancy)

Edit: Guess what's in her spellcasting component pouch. HINT: Rhymes with cookie. Now let me tell you about her spellcasting focus! It's encrusted with magically imbued partially digested corn....

Tell your DM you have a fever, and the only cure is real dungeons and dragons with cowbells.

Intelligence for recalling having read it in an ornithologists book.

Wisdom for having watched (perception) the two different species and noting the different airspeeds.

Stupid sexy Dryad.

"Play an Instrument"

RAW v RAI

I can play any and every instrument, badly. Rules never said play well.

Still got his money. Frank for the win!

Say it again after rolling a 3.

My mother used to tell me there was always one weirdo on every bus. I couldn't find them.

Oh thank god! I guess this is the "find the right answer by posting the wrong answer."

Or...

Someone who drinks Baileys out of a shoe, goes to a club where people wee on each other and has a mangina. He wants you to stay. Forever.