MeatPilot

Phantasmal Force is great. Used it on a Mini-Boss fighting alongside the Big Bad and then described "a giant goose comes crashing through the skylight, with it's head low it charges you with a furious 'HONK!'"

The DM played along a little by rolling to randomize what he swung at each round. Everytime he'd swing at the goose to "keep the illusion" I'd describe that he successfully hacked off a head, but now two more sprouted in its place and the honking intensifies.

The best part was the last sliver of damage he took was from the Phantasmal Force. So in his mind he was slain by a hydra goose.

Deep down we are all Social Justice Barbarians

What he failed to mention was they fed the wolves the villagers.

Now all I picture is the capybara and quokka having an exchange after a train hits a school bus full of children.

"I don't know if I can do this job anymore Capy. I have constant nightmares and Mrs. Quokka doesn't understand why I'm not able to get it up in bed anymore. You know how difficult it is to get a hard-on with those images in your mind man?

That little girl was just screaming with the skin ripped off her fucking face. The rest of them were so mangled we couldn't even figure out what limb belonged to who. Sometimes I just feel like the fucking grim reaper, you know? Sending souls off into the afterlife."

Quokka takes a long drag...

How could they be effective cops if they don't use hate and violence to oppress the citizens?

With pupils that size. This looks like it's going to escalate into blood.

The more I learn about owls the less I understand about owls.

5 - As the goblin lays facedown in a pool of blood. You discover a bucket full of candy and a cracked plastic mask with the same expression of the goblin you just fought.

"I strike at the bandit with my axe"

"Give me a to hit roll"

"Natural 20!"

"You cleave both targets in half, blood sprays everywhere!"

"Both targets?"