Daxter101

joined 2 years ago
[–] Daxter101@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

When you need to stop your players from trying to fight the Gods.

[–] Daxter101@lemmy.blahaj.zone 30 points 1 year ago

...Cool sticker, awful opinion

[–] Daxter101@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Daxter101@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Thanks, the thrift idea is probably pretty good. And, as long as something is inside my house, it's plenty safe, so I don't worry about that.

My actual style, slowly is shifting towards a style between punk and hippie that does exist here (we have a couple of... I think in English they're called squats? Occupations? People take over public buildings for protest, and live in them long term as small semi-communes), with long hair, loose-fitting short sleeved dress shirts, short jeans and piercings.

To be perfectly honest with you, my masc expression is enjoyable as fuck.

But, maybe, for that reason, and because of my sense of what non-binary is... This "slight femininity" is not feminine to me. It's a well balanced, healthy masculinity.

And I love this part of myself.

Probably slightly oversharing rantAnd at the same time, I wanna dye the tips of my hair pink. I wanna skirt go spinny. I want the interesting, chaotic, enormous variety that girl clothes have. And dresses. I want a damned nipple piercing, without being scared of how much it shows through clothes. I wanna be able to hug people without feeling self-conscious, either like I'm inappropriate and invading, or like I'm "socially not understanding the rules" and "not acting like a man".

So yeah. I'm more struggling with gender roles, than aesthetics themselves. But god knows I'd enjoy playing around with the simple joys of it all, in my home at least.

Thanks for the recommendations and the site, by the way!

[–] Daxter101@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Relevant XKCDExperts overestimating the familiarity of the average person with what they know

I have absolutely 0 idea, I don't know how to name nearly any style whatsoever.

I need at least a bit of plausible deniability, at least for going outside, because my town is pretty backwards.

Even my favourite way of putting it up in the house alone, which is in a 10-15-degrees-above-horizontal ponytail, but sideways instead of backwards, which makes me feel really cute, is not really a style I can wear outside.

I guess the feeling I'd like to get, is this, being cute and bubbly.

Honestly, now that I think about it, my expectation to wear these outside before you even tell me, is dumb. Just gimme the cutest, girliest, bubbliest style(s?) you got, for exploration and euphoria.

[–] Daxter101@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

That is correct, I remember the discourse and comparison between raloxifene and tamoxifen. Their existence sounds very cool.

Thanks a lot!

[–] Daxter101@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Pretty long. Curliness makes it not show its full length, and it still hangs below the shoulders. Brushed straight, it just about reaches the end of the ribcage

[–] Daxter101@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (6 children)

Ok yeah, I have absolutely no idea where to start other than a feel of how "some ways to put my hair up make me euphoric", so I'd love to talk about it. The styling specifically. I don't have make up and it's scary 🥲

[–] Daxter101@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Yeah, I am considering it, when I get some more financial stability.

Specifically, about a new-ish (read: not very well researched yet) hormone, which has estrogen effects all over the body (and mentally), except the breasts where is produces significantly reduced growth (I think F1nn5ter is using it for his transition and was talking about it, though I didn't learn about it from him so I don't know what he said). (Imma look for its name later, and come back to write it if it's hard to find)

[–] Daxter101@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (12 children)

I feel weird about these kinds of things people say.

I get it's coming from a kind place, and I guess that for some people it might help and give them strength to keep going, but for me... It feels like being coddled.

Let me make my position very clear, I'm talking about the conflation of what you are with how you look.

Not all women look femme. And while OP has expressed in other comments that she has feminine characteristics (while she discounts them, despite being important (hey OP, a feminine voice is a Very feminine thing to have, it might contribute a lot to you being seen as a femboy)), you haven't seen how she looks in order to call how she looks 'femme'.

How I personally feelFemme means something specific. I'm a slightly dysphoric enby, who looks more masc than I want, and when people who know, try to tell me I look femme, I (do get euphoric, and then) ask them why. And honestly, if they don't have a good vibe of understanding what they're saying, it feels disingenuous, and it feels bad. Like a confirmation that they don't see the femme parts that are here.

On top of everything else, people could still be in the process of becoming what they want to look like. I personally prefer to hear others' honest impressions, in order to understand how to better change, if I so desire. I guess there's a need for both feedback and validation, and I prefer that each person give of what they actually have to give, what they actually do think.

To OP:OP, stay strong, it sounds like you're making some tough decisions, based on your living conditions. I do think that, if you can't actually come out as a trans woman, coming out as a femboy might make you go through 2 easier, but still difficult situations, rather than one very difficult one. Coming out is never over anyway, and details always change in one's life, but do the best your senses tell you you can do, they're usually your best bet, since you know your life. Your gut can take a lot more information in to make a decision, than other people can, or even your logical side can. You sound like you have the perseverance for this. Good luck, and have fun with your journey!

[–] Daxter101@lemmy.blahaj.zone 52 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Stop. I'm too egg for this

[–] Daxter101@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 years ago

Thanks a lot, I will probably take you up on your offer soon, as soon as things settle and patterns start to emerge, because things are still very new and chaotic for all 3 of us 😅

 

Day 1, panicked cry for helpHello, I hope it's ok to not post a picture, I'm quite a mess right now. I lack sleep, and I'm stressed, and just stopping panicking, lying down to write this and sleep.

I just brought home, on somewhat of a whim, the goodest and most communicative little boy cat from the street (he looks around or less than 6 months).

And I already have a lovely, cranky, scaredy cat of a 6 year old lady (sterilised).

I made the assumed mistake of letting them meet face to face as soon as I unlocked the door to the apartment.

Anya (old lady cat) froze, and left, scared, and went to her room with her litterbox, and has stayed there since.

The Boy, I left a bit around the apartment, to make sure he actually wants to stay instead of going back to the street (he loves it), took him outside and back once so he could emergency shit because he didn't like the sand in the second litterbox I prepared (maybe too little, I'll get more tomorrow), and now I've closed him in the WC, with a good-sized box with his new fluffy blanket, food and water for a day, and the insufficient but untouched litterbox. And he is very happy in his box, in the closed room.

But in between all that, were the incidents:

A couple of times, The Boy went into Anya's room, found her, sat far away, curled his tail around his feets, and slow-blinked at her. She was not accepting. Deep-mewls, staying as far as possible (cornered), raised hairs on tail, tail circling around her side not touching her body, lowered ears, wide eyes.

He respected the distance.

I put him in the bathroom, closed the door, put her food outside the door to the bathroom. Left him to relax (he is, he is fine). Sat with her in her room for half an hour, so she would relax. She did a bit. Still hasn't left her room, but came for pets after a while, in her room.

So. Given how unprepared I am for this, and how much I love both kittens, what tips do you have for me? What to be careful of?

The situation is not ideal. Is there any condition, where I should be prepared to send The Boy to be an outside cat, for the better of everyone?

I'm dying of sleepiness, ask anything, and any help is welcome. Thank you so much for even reading all this. Now I'm gonna sleep, and I'll be back in the morning.

Day 2 update edit: Okay, everything is smoother now. Further updates in body for everyone interested, but thanks a lot either way, all this info was pretty helpful, directly or indirectly, and just writing this all down has helped immensely with my maddening anxiety with this whole situation.

The boy got vet-ted, he has nothing serious, just a little snot for which I'll be giving him a small antibiotics treatment.

good boy spielHe is a very good boy, smartest and most communicative and trusting cat I've ever met, and even after the messy vet visit, he still repeatedly chose to come back with me whenever I gave him the choice of returning where I found him, or even just outside the building. No, he wants to be here. That fact helped me calmed down a lot.

Current situationCurrently, the boy has gorged himself full, from the stress of the vet visit no doubt, and is contently sleeping in his box in the closed bathroom. Anya is walking around the house, generally smelling everything, and paying occasional attention to the bathroom door. She is eating and drinking normally every so often, eyeing warily the faraway but visible door. She no longer looks actively scared or stressed, looking ok enough with the current arrangement.

Short term plansI read Jackson's guides, and they've been really helpful for context and building intuition, but neither my house, nor my situation allow really following them step by step, so we're gonna wing it a bit.

I'm going to have each of them inside their own room (different rooms) for a portion of each day, leaving the other one to roam the entire house for that time. Anya evening to noon (play->sleep->job->relax) time, the boy the rest. I'm lucky I have 5 days off work starting today, to give them the attention they need.

Once I find out why I can't upload pictures, I will show the kitties off, and give an update on their situation.

Thanks everyone!

 
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