Transfem

this makes me wish i had a larger queer friend group

I've never been able to socialise with men if alcohol/other things weren't involved. After I met my partner it became worse, because the girl group that formed the majority of my social life met her and dragged her along to "girls nights" without me. It hurt. The irony is that she'd much rather hang out with their boyfriends.

Now I don't have a social life beyond a couple of the mums at my kids school, because anything more that a casual acquaintance will keep trying to hang out with my partner, who will keep blowing them off. And I have kids so I can't just get drunk all the time.

I really want to have what you have it sounds really cosy.

Ohh I resonate a lot with this! I almost exclusively had female friends before transition already but I feel like transitioning has strengthened our bond so much! I feel like I "get" them so much more than I did before and it's really so much nicer hanging out with women than with men. I have like 2 or 3 male friends and we aren't very close. It's just easier with women for me, the things they say are more interesting to me, they're more interested in what I have to say. I keep finding that men just bore me when I meet new ones. I was at a Halloween party a few days ago and talked with a guy I met there for half an hour and my god, he started well but it was so boring after a while!! Then I connected with a woman I met there and we vibed so well and I loved talking to her and we said we'd get coffee sometime soon! A man would never, I feel like, haha. So yeah, 100% with you!

Also: Most women I meet are queer so that's another plus! And nonbinary people are also almost always great to talk to :3

Oh yeah the beginning of that stage is really euphoric! You'll probably start to notice that random women in public will strike up conversations or just smile genuinely at you without quickly looking away. And men will start acting less friendly and awkward.

Oh I know exactly what you're talking about.

Something I have also noticed since passing quite well is something my mom calls "female solidarity". In a sense, a sort of connection between all of us.

For example, I've gone to a lot of raves in my time both before and after passing as a girl for other people.

• I do sometimes take (legal) substances but I do have bad trips from time to time, resulting in my energy going down a fuck ton. Nothing major, just getting really tired and relaxed (can also be a good feeling but not what I want from a rave). As a result, I tend to gravitate to corners or places where I can sit down. Before passing, nothing. I just was there. Who cares if I'd OD in that corner. Nowadays, I get approached almost exclusively by either other girls or security if everything is alright and if I need help.
• I was at a rave with my bf recently and the same energy thing happened to me so I cuddled up against him and leaned my head on his shoulder. I got approached so often by other girls asking if everything is fine in case it was a case of him drugging me.
• 8/10 times, being approached at raves by a guy means that they want to hit on me (which is strange for that community but times change I guess). I don't think I ever had a bad experience with girls approaching me at raves. Either just raving a bit together or just in general the most wholesome experience.

Or a non-rave example:

• I was at the doctors office once with some sort of cold which made it really hard to talk. That kinda made communicating with the receptionist a bit of an issue, especially since the other people in the waiting area where kinda loud. As a result, the receptionist accidentally affirmed me so hard while still being early in my transition by saying "haha yes and then men say that we are the loud ones". It just made me so happy