As someone agender, I see gender as a performance, and sometimes I just don’t feel like acting.
this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2025
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As someone genderful, I see gender as a performance, and I got the wrong script. Luckily, nobody seems to have noticed that I'm making it all up as I go along. XD
It's rough out there for some of us. I have long curly hair and massive curves (I can't even bind because of medical issues). Trying to get people to use any pronouns but she/her is a lot of work
Gender is, at its heart, a social construct. You can accent certain features, even throw on a big sandwich board saying "I AM ". But at the end of the day, you're banking on other people recognizing you as you want to be seen (and then not being trollish contrary assholes).
If social conventions shift and lots of dudes start growing out long curls and padded pants, you'll be in luck. If every dude in America wakes up one morning and gets a crew cut and cuts weight to twinkish proportions, you're in trouble.
Maybe people could recognize gender as a function of fashion rather than a genetic branding marker. Then the idea of being non-binary or fluid would have enough socially acknowledged signifiers to click. Until then, just gotta be the trend-setter you want to see in the world and "dress non-binary" loudly, I guess? Or dress like a schlub and bank on baggy cloths blurring the lines enough for people not to think hard about it.
This is why I tell people "any pronouns" despite almost always referring to myself as "it" or "they". I find it useful to hear how I am percieved, it helps me figure out just how "extra" I need to dress to be seen as a person of mixed gender.
im a bit ignorant here - what do you mean by "bind?"
"Binding" refers to the act of compressing one's chest, usually with special clothing.
oh, ty. <3
People naturally want the world to make sense.
Some folks find it more natural to ostracize those who don't fit within their worldview rather than updating their worldview to accommodate new information.
I HAVE TO GO TO THE BANK TODAY!
you don't look non-binary
mf, am I supposed to look like your narrow funnel of expression, you acorn? Did soup one day decide taste this stale, or did you also add butter to your gumbo?
One of my friends is nonbinary but they looks super masculine. Deep voice, into powerlifting, etc. I introduced them and their girlfriend to my parents when they were in town. Later my mom was so confused. "How can someone be attracted to women if they're non-binary"? She has been a high school teacher for forever. She's had plenty of students that were trans or used different pronouns than she assumed. I was so surprised that this sort of thing would slip through the cracks.
I have to go to the bank after this! What am I going to tell them? I had good and bad news!?
I can't say I loved the character of the dean all the way through, but damn if Jim Rash didn't perform the hell out of the role every single scene.
Did anyone say binary:
