Dads who didn't want pets - a classic : cat

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 196 points 9 months ago (7 children)

As a Dad who doesn't want more pets, I'd just like to clear something up.

We don't dislike animals. Our heart doesn't grow three sizes when you bring one home and catch us cuddling with it two days later.

I fucking LOVE animals, and I will cuddle the fuck out of anything that would let me, but I also know that nobody else in the house will make sure it's fed and cleaned up after. So, no you can't bring another animal home because I've already got enough on my plate, but when you do it anyway, be prepared for it to be MY little buddy.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 114 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Obligatory pic of one of my 4 little buddies.

[–] riquisimo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I love your little buddy.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

Me too! 😁

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 55 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Exactly. I will add that as much as I love animals I really hate the loss of them to the point I basically don't want to get them each time. All the get lots of animals folks seem super heartless in some ways. Yeah your sad but not I never want to go through it again sad. I also feel guilty that I can never give the animals quite enough. Not enough walkies. Not giving them enough attention.

[–] Nelots@lemmy.zip 22 points 9 months ago (6 children)

You gotta move on through the grief, accept that they're no longer with you, but that you gave them the best life you could. And maybe realize that giving another pet a good life doesn't mean you're replacing or forgetting your last one. Some people are just better at it than others, they aren't being heartless.

That said, people who get a new dog a week or two after their previous one died are insane to me. That just feels disrespectful.

[–] EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

but that you gave them the best life you could. And maybe realize that giving another pet a good life doesn’t mean you’re replacing or forgetting your last one.

I've told myself that the cats under my care are the top 1% of the 1% of animals. I would go as far as saying that they have it better than most of the 8B people on this planet. They have comfort, safety, abundance, and entertainment. I go the extra mile for them to ensure that they have a high quality of life.

When I have gotten another cat after one died, it was never a replacement. It was giving a home to cat who needed one. A cat sitting in a shelter waiting for their chance. And I tend to adopt animals that are harder to place due to age or other factors (e.g. "does not get along with dogs or kids") that are a non-issue for me.

Losing them is hard, but not adopting them doesn't prevent their eventual death. It just means that the death happens "off camera," and quite possibly much sooner.

[–] Vanilla_PuddinFudge@infosec.pub 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

When I have gotten another cat after one died, it was never a replacement. It was giving a home to cat who needed one. A cat sitting in a shelter waiting for their chance. And I tend to adopt animals that are harder to place due to age or other factors (e.g. “does not get along with dogs or kids”) that are a non-issue for me.

This is how I operate too. Any cat in my care is me doing my part, never getting another animal because it would destroy the integrity of the legacy of the one I had previously?... Kinda seems self-defeating.

My current familiar is Nessa, a temperamental slightly-wild girl who will hard bite you if you don't know what you're doing with her, but I've held cats for almost 20 years now and I know what to do and what not to do to keep her from biting me. Someone else's house? Some meathead's house? A big house full of kids? She'd get thrown out in a month.

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[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I get you gotta move on, but the fact is if you have one that loss is coming again. 10 years? 20? Worse yet single digit. Then if they outlive you its even worse.

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[–] Pazintach@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 9 months ago

Yeah, the guilt for not give them enough never left you. I'd like to move on, but even after many years, even after my family added another cat to our family, I still fear for the worst.

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[–] entwine413@lemm.ee 24 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Plus, it's going to die one day, and that really sucks.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 18 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Or you end up spending hundreds to make sure it doesn't, and then it still dies anyway.

[–] AltheaHunter@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 9 months ago

hundreds? more like thousands...

[–] dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 9 months ago

Everything dies and I think we should try and frame death as natural and we provide great lives for our pets.

It’s not heartless to want to then give another pet a great home.

[–] blazeknave@lemmy.world 16 points 9 months ago

Talking to another mom about our menageries on school trip. Me: wow! She takes care of all those reptiles?! I can't even get the fish fed or litter box cleaned over here Her: oh, no. Not at all. By "she has," I mean "I care for"

[–] Sc00ter@lemm.ee 12 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Im right there with you. I didnt want our second dog. My wife was certain she did. Now his seperation anxiety is so bad that hes on puppy prozac and needs something cleaned up every day because we both work. And guess whos doing all the feeding, cleaning, medicine, and baths? Guess who wants to get rid of him? And guess who he follows around and will literally sit on?

Edit: grammar

[–] Outsider9042@lemmynsfw.com 9 points 9 months ago

I also added a rule.

Exclusive naming rights of all pets brought into the house.

If you’re going to ignore me, there will be consequences.

Isn’t that right cuntdestroyer?

[–] nucleative@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

Was about to make this point as well but you nailed it. I don't want to bring the pet home because I KNOW I will love it.

[–] MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 40 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I let my cats smell every meal before I eat it. Regardless if they like the smells or not, they're always interested in what I'm doing and what I have.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Same here. They have a way of saying, "Hey, I want to smell that!" and it's adorable.

[–] MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

If yours are anything like my tortoiseshell, it's a loud and clear message. They will run over and give a distinct meow, but they're very communicative in general.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Aww, that's so cute. Mine will sit, look up, and gently pretend to smell the air. If they're very interested, they'll lift their front paws and rest one one my leg. It gets me every time.

[–] MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 4 points 9 months ago

Aww, that's adorable too!

[–] fossilesque@mander.xyz 3 points 9 months ago

Mine do that as well, and the dog picked it up too lol. She is a bit more enthusiastic about it though. 😅

[–] Bunnylux@lemmy.world 31 points 9 months ago

Very well, I approve, you may put the item away.

Cat

[–] SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 24 points 9 months ago

Cats have a way of inserting themselves into your life, don't they?

[–] doctordevice@lemmy.ca 22 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That's good enrichment right there! Cats love to investigate new and interesting smells within their territory.

[–] Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 8 points 9 months ago (2 children)

And they're specifically interested in what we eat. At least all of mine have been. I actually do the same thing with groceries and also cooked meals 😄

[–] AnarchistArtificer@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

My cat would sometimes act as if she was anxious for our wellbeing while we were eating (this started after she surreptitiously tasted some food that she clearly did not enjoy the taste of.)

[–] doctordevice@lemmy.ca 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Definitely, my cats love to sniff all of my cooked meals. I'll bring it to them if they're lounging to pay the sniff tax!

I normally set the grocery bags down when I get home and let them investigate before I put stuff away.

[–] Gustephan@lemmy.world 18 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I used to have an old man cat that was like that. He wanted to sniff everything that came in the house; not super urgently but he was always interested. It got hard for him to walk eventually and my girlfriend would always poke fun at me for carrying him around and holding him up to each new thing so he could investigate. He seemed happy about it though, he never stopped being interested in investigating

[–] doctordevice@lemmy.ca 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

What a warm, loving thing to do for your companion. He got to keep some normalcy with the added comfort of being held by his person. Thank you for sharing, that made me happy.

[–] Gustephan@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

:) I am glad that brought you a smile. I'm sure Chizz would love to know he's still making people smile through stories about him. He was a real one

[–] JacksonLamb@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I used to do this with my old girl. I would carry her in my arms around the garden and she would indicate by leaning if she wanted to go towards something.

She used to make me spend ages standing under trees with her. I think in her mind we were stalking birds.

[–] Slovene@feddit.nl 16 points 9 months ago (2 children)

The number of people talking about their cats but not posting pics in this thread is too damn high!

[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 14 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Fine meet Bender Bending Rodríguez.

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[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

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[–] Colalextrast@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

As a (soon to be) dad who doesn't want any more pets, it's not cause I don't like animals. I love animals... maybe too much, cause I just don't know how many more I can bury.

Maybe I need to get a pet that will outlive me. Something cuddly with a lifespan of like 60-80 years

[–] groet@feddit.org 2 points 9 months ago

Mammals mostly don't live that long and reptiles aren't the most cuddely. But sloths or primates can live to 50 years. And some birds can outlive you easily with cockatoos getting to 120 years occasionally

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 9 months ago

My dad didn't want pets when I was a kid. He was the only person the cat would lie on top of on the sofa when watching tv. Kitty owned him.

[–] baltakatei@sopuli.xyz 5 points 9 months ago

It is not a contradiction to refuse your child's desire for you to adopt a cat and to love a cat. If you force a parent to adopt a cat, they will resent you for foisting an unwanted burden on them. However, the cat has no say in the matter, so it makes no sense to resent or punish the cat. Your parent developing a loving relationship with the pet you forced on them does not absolve you of your imposition.