this post was submitted on 01 Apr 2026
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On a discussion board? Oh, the humanity!
This is actually an ongoing issue in many spaces. "If you don't fully validate me by only talking about what I said, you are the enemy."
That's a rather juvenile approach. Discussion is how change happens, and shutting it off makes shooting yourself in the foot seem a wise option by comparison.
I'm deeply enmeshed in the queer community, and you're saying I'm not supportive enough? You are working against your own self-interest. Don't attack your colleagues; attack the system.
I believe your heart is on the right place, and would risk the same for your convictions, but analyse from a practical point of view. Is the discussion dominating this post on topic or off topic? When should arguments have stopped in name of be(e)ing nice?
I wrote one comment and was content to leave it there. The only reason the conversation has dragged on is that I had no right to participate on a public forum.
I've been engaged in activism for quite some time, and the reactions I got increasingly irritated by are exactly how you kill sympathy for your cause. Engage. Educate. Telling people they shouldn't even be there by the trans community is so tone-deaf that I'm having trouble following how the vitriol advances the movement.
I'm trying to help. I'm trying to explain how organizing and building a community works, and I keep being told that being cis means I have nothing to contribute. It's sort of devolved into vegans attacking vegetarians for cruelty. Neither eats meat, yet they focus on their differences instead of realizing they have the same ethics, just draw lines differently.
"I’m trying to help."
Cool, well after one of the hardest weeks of my life because of my identity, I really feel helped coming into a thread about TDoV and seeing 50% of the comments being dominated by a cis man talking down to trans people.
And I was even polite, offered a neutral explanation, and you still attacked me.
Seems like you have a real big chip on your shoulder about the trans community.
That's extrapolation from personal belief. I have no such chip; all I asked for was being allowed a seat at the table, which was vehemently declined.