Eldritch Mlems

"10 minutes ago we were down to only 2 0s!" "How many do we have now?" "I ... don't know!!"

https://explainxkcd.com/3009/

feast your eyes

Over the last 15 years I created Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber and Everyone is Gay. I was on MTV, I toured with Lady Gaga, and in September 2014 I released my first book "This is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids"

I wrote about all that entertainment industry bullshit in the memoir i released exactly 10 years later in September of 2024.

What has me fucked up is... two months before my memoir was released I became inundated with memories from another reality. At first, I thought I was just having an idea for a fanfic about Vanessa Hudgens but, like, I'm not even a fan of Vanessa Hudgens. I do not write fiction, I have never written fiction. I can't come up with shit in my head. And I wasn't coming up with this shit! I was having memories. It felt like memories and I...idk...remembered it like memories. I have had memories of the future before. Small ones, little things that i could kind of talk myself out of, I talk about it briefly in the memoir I released in September.

The point of this post is, I wrote a whole fucking memoir and I physically can not bring myself to talk about it because that person is not me anymore. I know it's not me anymore because I saw myself in the future and in the future I am a time travelling teacher with a super hot wife. My wife, 44, and I travel to different realities via collective consciousness. In the reality that I remembered this summer, she took over the consciousness of someone who looked like an older Vanessa Hudgens and we manipulated Vanessa and her best friend, Dan into living their best lives (or something). And to clarify, yes, I am saying that my best friend in another reality is Vanessa Hudgens. Which is not all that far-fetched considering my bestie-ship in this reality with girls like Gabi Gregg, Shailene Woodley, Kate Nash, and Stevie Boebi... Vanessa Hudgens is honestly kind of a mishmash of all of them.

Anyway. I literally HAD to write this alternate reality shit out and it turned into My Memoir From An Alternate Reality. I finished the alt reality memoir on August 19th and that night I had this INSANE transcendental experience involving myself and an unidentified Aquarius doing a radio show. The next day, August 20th, I sent my finished book to my friend, Ashe. A few hours later I saw the hottest girl ever on tiktok and I flirted with her. After a tasteful back and forth on TikTok, she slid in my DMs and I asked her thoughts on time travel. She said, verbatim, words that 44 said in the alt reality I'd been remembering. Thank fuck I had written them down in a book and sent the book to a friend so I had confirmation it was all real.

The girl is an Aquarius and we're about to start a podcast.

I wish i was fucking lying.

Has some shit like this ever happened to anyone else?

p.s. alt reality memoir attached to this post via a proton drive link

[Requesting Engagement from transfems]

(Blahaj lemmy told me to put this up top, so I did)

I did not expect this to happen. I followed FairyPrincessLucy for a long time, cuz she's real nice and seems cool.

Time passes and I noticed how I would feel very bad when watching her do stuff. I was like

damn, she so generally okay with her situation. Wish I was too lol

So I stopped watching her.

Just now I discovered another channel, Melody Nosurname , and I really, really like her videos! She seems very reasonable and her little character is super cute <3
But here too I noticed how watching the vids made me super uncomfortable.
The representation is nice, for sure, and her videos are of very high quality, I can only recommend them (as in - the videos).

I started by noticing

woah, her tshirt is super cute, I wanna have that too!

Then I continue with

heyo her friend here seems also super cool. Damn wish I had cool friends

And then eventually the classic

damn, I wish I were her

At that point, it's already over. I end up watching another video and, despite my genuine interest in the topic, I stop it in the middle, close the tab and open Lemmy (and here we are).

Finally I end up watching videos by cis men, like Scott the Woz. They are fine, and I end up not comparing myself to them (since I wouldn't necessarily want to be them). I also stopped watching feminine people in general online, as they tend to give me a very similar reaction. Just like

yeah, that's cool that you're mostly fine with yourself, I am genuinely happy for you that you got lucky during random character creation <3

I also watched The Owl House, which is a really good show (unfortunately owned by Disney) and I stopped watching when...

Spoiler for the Owl House

it started getting gay <3 cuz I started feeling way too jealous of them just being fine with themselves and pretty and gay <3 and such

I wanted to see where the show was going, and I'm sure it's real good, but that is not worth risking my wellbeing, I thought.

So anyway...

have you had a period like that before?
How did you deal with it?
Do you watch transfem people? Please share your favs! <3
I also like watching SimplySnaps. Her videos are also really high quality, I just end up not being able to watch them for too long before sad hits :(

additional info about me, if anyone cares

I currently don't take hrt, but I'm on my way. I'm attending psychological therapy with a really nice tharapist here in Germany.
I struggle to find good words to describe how I feel but slowly I find better words for it.
I'm currently 19 and present myself mostly masculine still, while trying to act very nice, generally acceptable and friendly. So kinda in a way which makes both super sweet queer people <3 <3 <3 <3 and hetero cis queerphobes accept me as just another character. (I work at a school with very mixed ideologies, so I kinda have to).
But oh boi do I have social anxiety, even at home with mother...

EDIT: Changed info about SimplySnaps
EDIT2: Added The Owl House example

He's a little shithead, but we love him dearly.

If I can make one recommendation to everybody here, it's plan for the likely scenarios. You should have at least 3 plans for the future based on a best-medium-worst case scenario, because when things start to move quick, having a disaster plan is life saving.

To expand on this, look at Trump's plan and build a best-medium-worst case scenario for each of his major campaign promises, and apply a likely timeline. We have a pretty good idea that the priorities will be: Mass Deportation, Project 2025, and Political Retribution. Think about how likely each of these things is to succeed and what the potential ramifications are. ALWAYS consider the worst case scenario.

Notable events to have explicit plans for: Deadly Force Against Protestors, Calls For Mass Violence, and Purging of the Media. Think about which groups and people around you will be helpful to either survival or resistance. Start building alliances and connections in your local community NOW.

The special session responds to the public statements and proposals put forward by President-elect Trump and his advisors, and actions taken during his first term in office — an agenda that could erode essential freedoms and individual rights, including women's rights and LGBTQ+ rights. A special session allows for expedited action that will best protect California and its values from attacks. The special session will begin December 2, when the Legislature convenes.

edit: archive.today version, if needed

Like in 2016 a rising tide of conservatives emboldened by the Republican victory are starting to crop up online. Hate speech and random attacks directed at the trans community in online spaces will continue and most likely grow louder in the coming weeks. For our safety and mental health I encourage everyone to avoid online spaces that are not strictly moderated. Avoid social media where transphobia and misogyny are tolerated. The effect of constact exposure to hate speech is profound and horrific. We need to shelter ourselves from it as much as possible. I know it doesn't sound very brave to say that but its the truth. We need to look after each other of course, but first of all we have to look after ourselves.

Like everyone here I've been through a chaotic mess of emotions over the past couple days. I am furious, heartbroken, terrified, and sick with anxiety. I have picked apart everything thats happened in the past few months and tried to make sense of how this could happen. The hows and whys of it dont matter though. This is the reality we are confronted with and we have to exist within it. There is no use in praying for a different world. There is no use in lamenting the reality as it exists.

Trans people have made it through so many eras of open hostility towards us. Our community is built on the foundations laid by those who came before us. We persevere because of our solidarity, our empathy and our unity. We must now turn our attention to how we can fight back against this system. We must move our focus to how we can persist within a new world. Trans people still need hormones. We need ways out of hostile communities. We need protection and we need security. Our focus must change to how we can provide those things without the help of institutions. We need networks of supportive cisgender people throughout deep red states. We need supply chains for bringing hormones to people who cannot access them. We need communities online oriented around supporting our most vulnerable.

I am committed to this community supporting all of those efforts, and am looking to become personally involved in organizing efforts as time goes on. Channel your anger and your fear into action. Process your feelings together, support each other, and remember that youre not alone. We are not alone. Things aren't okay. They won't suddenly be okay tomorrow. But we can look after our community. We can push back. It's our duty to do so, for trans youth and vulnerable trans people who can't advocate for themselves and are subject to the whims of the system.

I'll go ahead continue today's trend of awesome orange kitties.

Our Laszlo (aka Zozo) likes to show up early in my work day so he can watch all the little faces during my morning meetings while using my wrist as a pillow. Then we turn on some youtube cat tv if he sticks around after meetings are over.

These rocks are from a time before eyes, brains, and bones, pieces of a land warmed by an unseen sun.

https://explainxkcd.com/3008/