jamie_veal

Special shout-out to my dear @Domi@lemmy.blahaj.zone, you're amazing <3

Hello my dears :3

So rn I'm going by Jamie and there's a lot I really like about this name. Its meaning works well (she, who supplants), it's the name of my favorite skater when I was a kid, it does have a nice ring to it.

But when I chose it to play with, I didn't know where my journey would lead to. Now that I do I'm just not sure I like the ambiguity.

That being said, I wonder, how did you all pick your new names? Does it have a special meaning to you? Anything in particular that made you go like "Yes, that's it, that's me!"?

€: Thanks for sharing everyone (and keep going :3)! Definitely some inspiration in there.

I have so many meme ideas, but they're so obvious and have probably been done a thousand times x). Hopefully still enjoyable to some :3

Back when I was a teen I've had a rather weak immune system for quite a while. Once or twice a year I'd have a pretty rough cold and went to the doctor. One of the symptoms I described was a strange feeling inside my throat, like there'd be some foreign object stuck, that doesn't belong. My cold got treated, I got better, but that object, it never went away.

A while later I went to the hospital due to acid reflux issues. It was a rough time, I woke up and felt sick almost everyday. Again I explained that there's this weird feeling in my throat, like there's a knot or something, but the doctors couldn't find anything out of the ordinary and dropped it.

Fast forward another ~15 years. I'm in therapy, mostly group-settings, and there's a therapist whom I've developed a very strong feeling of trust towards. Very unusual. At some point I've mentioned that weird knot in my throat and she tried to help me find out what it might be. Maybe it's a metaphor? A knot that's keeping my feelings away from my conscience? Or even a psychosomatic manifestation of that?

Nope to all of that. IT WAS MY FUCKING WAY TO BIG ADAM'S APPLE ALL ALONG! A constant source of gender dysphoria, "stuck in my throat", since my body told my larynx to grow during puberty.

It's so surreal, there's sooo much stuff that just suddenly is so easy to explain, struggles that I've thought about for years and never got really satisfying explanations for.

Did you have an interesting "It-was-gender-dysphoria-all-along" experience?

PS: Is there a nice term to address everyone in this beautiful space? I'm a little hesitant to use something like "Hey girls!", because I wouldn't want to exclude anyone who doesn't feel that close to the feminine side.

PSS: Is something wrong with this post? Please let me know.

Here I am, sitting at home, living my life as usual, more or less. Yet, something changed.

I'm looking at memes and I'm actually laughing. I'm watching the same old shows I always watch on the side, and the same old jokes make laugh. Not just a chuckle here or there as I'm used to, but real, genuine laughter. It's not like this was completely foreign to me before, but very unusual.

I've been struggling with my mental state for most of my life. I still am, and probably will keep doing so. 20 years of unhealthy coping strategies leave their mark. There's been therapy, there's been ideas of what might be wrong, though, never a real diagnosis. Nothing excluded as well - "real" diagnosis just didn't happen.

But now it feels... different. I feel different. For most of my life I've been rather disconnected from my emotions. For the last week I've been closer to myself than ever before - maybe besides some drug-induced states. I'm almost crying typing this, the good kind of crying, the cathartic one.

And all it took was the realisation that I am no man?