Kiwi, on average stand 1.5-2 feet tall and weigh around 3-8lbs depending on their size and sex. Roughly about the size of a chicken. This one is average sized.
capt_wolf
Edit: How did I post nothing here?
Anyway... I dunno, this seems apt...

Listen here... If I went around sayin' I was a jarl just because some damp broad in a stream tossed me a viking sword, they'd put me away!
While it’s unclear what prompted the order, Putin’s interest in former imperial possessions...
"We consider all former nations of the USSR to be former imperial possessions. We will be taking them back."
"Mister Putin, sir... With all respect, after thorough searching and examination, we have found them to be firmly lodged within your own rectum... We also found what appears to be an antique mold of Adolf Hitler's dick and balls behind them..."
That's really not the case...
He condemned the whole thing 3 weeks ago as terrorism. He said it again 2 weeks ago too.
Problem is, people are so eager to jump on the "religion bad!" bandwagon that they'll take any bait they can, even when they really don't know what they're talking about.
Sure, there's plenty to hate on, but this isn't it...
Well, the ones we get in the store are typically a lot younger and have had their head and legs removed already....