boonhet

joined 5 months ago
[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

With examples of masculinity like Donald J. Trump, Matt Walsh, Ben Shapiro and Joe Rogan, I’ve given up on maleness

Yeah, male here (born as male, identify as male), I don't think most of us see any of those guys as very masculine. I think every single one of those, but particularly DJT and Joe Rogan, have some really deep insecurities that cause them to be the way they are. Joe Rogan probably has body dysmorphia and a whole host of other issues. I think DJT is an asshole because his own family saw him as a failure and so he's been trying to prove himself to everyone, but nobody gave a fuck, no matter how big he made his public image.

Real masculinity is something else entirely. Our elevated T levels are because we're supposed to be providers and protectors by nature. This doesn't mean that in modern day you should still financially provide for the entire family alone (women work too now, and that's fine), it means that if you see someone pushing a car that ran out of gas before reaching the gas station, you offer to help, regardless of the other person's gender identity or skin color. It means that if your elderly neighbor can't shovel snow off their driveway anymore, you offer to help. And most importantly, you stand by your family and others close to you, and help them protect their own rights (particularly children who don't know how to stand up for themselves yet).

And some men are not masculine, that's fine. Some women are masculine too, that's fine too.

And you know what, I WILL toot my own horn now. I may not be an example of peak masculinity either, but thinking about it, the above mostly describes me. I help anyone I can - especially with physical things, because I'm a force of nature. When I can of course - I still have to put myself and my family first. I take care of my child without any real involvement from my ex - because she wasn't really capable of being a loving mother. When we were together, I slept 2-3 hours a night to provide for her and the kids (one being my stepkid). I probably did more at home than she did, and I also worked more than full time. Other than two of my exes being physically abusive because they knew I wouldn't hit back, I haven't been in a fight since middle school. Not because I've pussied out - because I got so big through powerlifting that nobody dares try anything anymore, and I NEVER start a fight. The one thing that I guess is not particularly masculine about me is that I'm not assertive enough. I let people push me around and then erase them from my life, rather than immediately telling them off.

The manosphere will probably call me a beta. I don't sleep with a bunch of different women, I don't fight people, I let my ex sleep around without immediately dumping her or hitting her or whatever because I didn't want to break up the family, one of my best friends is a trans woman. Etc. But fuck that noise, they don't know what being a man is.

So keep this in mind when you re-evaluate what you think of gender identities. Feel free to stay undefined if that's what floats your goat, but if TRT makes you feel like you identify as a male, don't be ashamed of it just because of some noisy ass idiots. Realize that most men, just like most women (and enbies), are just quietly working away at improving the lives of people around them, as well as their own lives. You never hear from those men (or women or enbies) because they don't have any desire to be public or spread some kind of message.

We're just in a period right now where male loneliness is a huge issue and unfortunately as a result, a lot of young men do look up to some warped ideas of "masculinity", while the real issue is that they don't have enough female friends (and friends in general) in their lives. And of course that's not anyone's fault in particular, but I suspect that fans of Andrew Tate or Ben Shapiro would have more luck finding female friends if they weren't fans of Andrew Tate or Ben Shapiro.

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 month ago

Nothing lives in cities naturally. Cities themselves just aren't natural.

Where I come from, outdoors cats really don't have a particularly long shelf life in cities and towns. Either they get hit by a car, or they wander to the forest and find something stronger than them

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Invasive where?

Everyone keeps saying they're invasive, but like... They've been around for thousands of years and were around before we started domesticating them (or they started domesticating us, I guess).

And yes, they kill birds, but then other wild animals also kill other animals.

And yes I realize you're on .ca so probably Canadian, but my point is, everyone seems to assume everyone on the Internet is North American. Plenty of us live in Europe, where cats are sort of a naturally occurring phenomenon.

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 month ago

If you get a corporate job, you can be a code warlock!

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 23 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Likely he's one of the few people in the US that actually has access to world-class healthcare. Fortunately, there's still hope, as the footage looked pretty bad.