ToastedCoconuts

I have tried telling people my pronouns, but the town I live in is stuck in the 90s where trans jokes are still "funny" and enby's are just confused. Only the small queer group I've joined has used my preference. I'm afraid to even try now with cheeto dust settling into every nook and cranny across the states.

I got your message, but I can't seem to get the reply through.

Here's what I wrote back:

I think you get to define that the way that fits best. Calling it gender euphoria can be understandable by a large audience. We called medical treatments "gender affirming" when they were still gate-kept for cis people. Breast reconstruction or testicle implants, laser hair removal, and hormones for elder individuals, for just a small list. But, let me challenge the idea in a different way. If a person loses a body part that is intrinsically linked to how they experience, or want to experience the world, what should we call it when they can get that function back? A cis man who has surgery to return function to his penis could feel gender euphoria. I actually know someone who had an adult circumcision who explained it that way. On the other hand, an amputee can experience euphoria when they're able to hold their child again, or a hearing impaired child when they hear their mother's voice for the first time. Plastic surgery often has the same effect.

For me, I feel dysphoric about the female parts of my body, despite the fact that I'm still fem presenting. And likely always will be. It's my body that's wrong, not my presentation. So, I think for me it is gender euphoria even tho I don't have a gender in my head

Being trans isn't just about surgeries.

Oh, for sure. I definitely am more comfortable with myself, my labels, and my preferences now. But when that egg first cracked, I felt like I wasn't worthy of the label because of some criteria. That's why I mentioned that there isn't really a right way to be trans or enby, it's often different from one person to the next

Absolutely, you can message me! I'm not sure how well messaging works between piefed and lemmy yet, but I have a lemmy account too, if this doesn't work. I'm sorry it took so long for me to respond. I hope you got enough rest, it seemed like there was a lot to process through this whole post

Dr Girlfriend was a whole vibe. Almost a call back to the chainsmoking, husky-voiced actresses in vintage films

I know exactly what you mean about experiencing euphoria just from viewing the website!

I'm afab, but identify as agender. I have gone through many of the thoughts you've written here, especially if I'm even allowed to call myself trans when it's not exactly feasible for me to get bottom surgery. I'm also aroace, in a similar way that you are

Have you considered trying testosterone? At a lower dose you can still get some bottom growth. You'll also have some of the other changes like thicker body hair, and lowering of voice. I was on T for about four months and didn't have any voice changes, but still had enough growth that I was content. I can go into more detail if you like, and there's some toys out there (and functional prosthetics) that help alleviate some of the bottom dysphoria. There's definitely no right way to be Trans or NB but it helps to have some anecdotal info when you're feeling lost.