Melody

Now that the mandatory reminders of "It's your choice" are out of the way; fwy will tell a bit about how fwy cracked.

Fwy has always been fascinated with various feminine things from a very young age; and that includes things like fashion, makeup, and other ways and forms of creatively expressing fwyself with fwy's very own body.

Of course as you probably know, or have experienced, being AMAB typically means you get pidgeonholed into very specific, very utilitarian clothing and you don't often get a lot of choices on the colors or things of that nature; and it's typically even enforced at a high level that AMAB bodies also do not sport very many types of body accentuation or decorations that are not of a permanent and irreversible nature. No offense to those who do sport very colorful tattoos.

Even when Fwyfwy was just 8 years old; Fwy found immense pleasure in simple decorations of fwy's own body. Given a box of washable markers and privacy; fwy would be very artistic and decorate fwy body, usually fwy feet and legs as those were easiest to sort of color or decorate to emulate something in some manner, to look like whatever fwy felt she most resonated with. Most frequently; fwy would resonate strongly with many female characters and found it strongly maddening that fwy couldn't display fwy's self decoration publicly; but it at least kept fwy sane to know fwy had the decoration on fwy's own body underneath fwyfwy drab clothes.

This is only a fragment of fwy's experience of being trans; but fwy feels it's the best fragment to offer. Fwy does not want to be discouraging when you may just be seeking to feel like you are not alone. Rest assured that you are not alone.

WYKYK; "When you know, you know."

Don't rush yourself. Don't let anyone try to crack your "shell" or treat you like an egg if you feel uncomfortable with that. Be yourself and feel it out.

If after hearing a few testimonies and stories from other trans people you personally feel that experience more closely matches yours; by all means don't hesitate to consider yourself trans.

Explore our communities, hear some stories, explore the meanings on your own terms and find what fits!~

Welcome to being Queer/Questioning. <3 Lots of space to explore and even decide you want to venture out to explore under the even wider umbrella of being trans.

So yes; technically you could argue you're trans; even as you are. If that makes you comfortable; do it. If it does not; you don't have to. It's your own labels and your right to self-assign whatever labels you feel fit you best.

Reddit has been going through numerous changes that, generally, it's users dislike.

So there will be waves of people leaving reddit most likely; as they spin away from serving the user; to serving profits.

Privacy is a spectrum. Your privacy needs may vary; depending on your personal situation.

But good first steps are pretty easy.

• Leave your email accounts at services like GMail, Yahoo, or any other big corporation. Find a privacy respecting provider such as Tuta or ProtonMail.
• Log into all accounts you have online; switch them over to the new email.
• Minimize your use of 'Corporate' social media. Delete any accounts you can live without. (Meta/Instagram/Pinterest)
• For any of the "Social Media" accounts (like Facebook) you choose to KEEP; you must log into them and lock them down, and make sure all the privacy settings are configured to minimize invasive tracking. Repeat this step on a monthly basis.
• Seek out alternate social media. (Lemmy/Mastodon/Fediverse)
• Use 2FA. For everything. No Exceptions. This will cut down on problems later if your data gets leaked.
• Set a unique password for everything, and use a password manager to help you do this! Seriously. Bitwarden is good.
• Switch messengers. Matrix, Signal and the like are good; but understand you may not be able to get everyone around you to switch, so don't rush this too quickly.

I'd even recommend talking about this with her one to one as quickly as is reasonably and respectfully possible. It will be better if she is not allowed to emotionally stew in this revelation to arrive at the mentioned conclusion.

She needs to know it won't go away and it changes literally nothing about the marriage or feelings

I mostly agree here.

Although; I have a slightly different experience as well that makes me highly distrustful of people who tout being 'sapphic' as well; as I've seen quite a few people who identify with that label participating in the same kinds of toxic and exclusionary behavior that the self labeled 'lesbians' that are referenced in this article are participating in.

In general; excluding members of the rainbow who are less numerous than our identity group is; is in fact punching down on them and is not cool. If you bear any label in the whole spectrum; you should at least try to know better, and reject exclusionary behavior.

Of course people will be exclusionary to the extent they can get away with it. Don't let them get away with it when you see it. Call it out and educate them kindly if possible; especially those who should know better.

As someone who is as deeply queer as she is transfeminine; I do experience some strange bouts of gatekeeping; especially around people who think I am inherently less feminine than they would prefer.

Very cute~!

I'm going to be boldly honest; I think this is pretty likely to get resistance from some people.

For certain people, in certain limited contexts, for casual inter-personal interactions between the user of these pronouns and a person who is aware of the pronouns speaking to them; yeah...I could see where your arguments hold water.

I don't personally condone misgendering anyone; particularly not when it's done knowingly and in spite or hate.

In a broader context; I think people attempting to use these pronouns might be confused by others for being something that will likely not be accepted, particularly not accepted by those who might have any particularly rigid religious mindsets. You, the reader of course, may choose not to care about this fact; but you have been warned.

Personally; I don't plan on using such pronouns myself, nor would I advise anyone else to use them unless they wish to invite additional resistance in the acceptance of their identity.

However; if these pronouns really do fit you, and they make you feel good; be aware of the possible misconceptions that can and will spring up around them. You will have to be vocal in debunking them, and they will likely be very absurd sounding to you...but from those with certain perspectives, may make sense, even if they are not logical or reasonable.

I genuinely hope people are careful and mindful; stay safe out there and if you DO use pronouns like these, I would encourage you to also be accepting of an additional standard set of pronouns as well.

I feel more feminine when I can express myself openly and freely. When I can choose to dress in clothing I feel that not only looks better on my body, but also emphasizes my comfort over all. When I can choose to put on makeup and nail polish to not only enhance my own 'confidence in' and 'appreciation of' myself, but put other people at ease, look nice and put-together, and express myself in quiet ways with how I decorate my body that allow me to show my creativity, spirit and personality.

I feel more feminine when I can connect with people and help them feel better, do better and live better. When I can express my love freely and openly and not be derided as seeking sex or pleasure for the immediate moment. When I can explore my social relationships with people and develop and grow them to their maximums without being accused of ill intent, or agenda.

Undoubtedly there are deeper depths of femininity I have yet to explore; and I look forward to doing so, to surrendering myself to femininity as much as I feel I can as I transition and become what I should always have been.

I feel your pain. May you find 10 more friends just as close as the one you lost; who are not transphobic.

Or maybe someday you'll have luck in educating the one you lost. Whatever the outcome; know that you are valid and accepted. Some people just haven't caught up yet.