I was going to send this to my DM, but then I remembered that he would absolutely do it.
Laurentide
joined 2 years ago
Well, that was after he decided to start living in my head, so I figured I might as well try to keep him entertained.
"I cast longsword!"
"Does the paladin's piss count as holy water?"
"You described the mech as being similar to a Gundam. So it's a mobile suit? Does that mean I'm technically wearing it on my person?"
"Watch out for the ass-grabbing ghosts!"
"I struggle like a dog being given a pill."
"No, don't activate your telepathy! I don't want your mind-herpes!"
"Wait, why is a duck that lays eggs named Mr. Quackers?" "Mr. Quackers can be whatever he wants!"
"I cast Prestidigitation and pee his pants."
"Hey Nyarlathotep, wanna see something funny?"
My Aberrant Mind Sorceress had been making frequent use of her telepathy ability to communicate silently and to keep in touch with allies that went scouting away from the party. Then she opened something she was told not to and ended up with a piece of Nyarlathotep living in her mind. When she later used her telepathy on the Monk, the DM ruled that it allowed the outer god to enter his head as well. Now we had a permanent three-way group chat that neither I nor the Monk could leave, whose moderator frequently posted literal nightmare fuel, and the rest of the party was suddenly very insistent that I only communicate with them verbally from now on.
One time I tried using my telepathy on an enemy. His head exploded. Gnarly was very unhappy about me adding people to the chat without permission and suggested that I not do it again.