Wow, today I learned. Their materials all position it as something different? I guess the specifics must vary. The results from Yeson do seem consistently good. But I hadn't actually heard of femlar before. There are several US surgeons that do offer it.
A question I have also asked many times. I am also pursuing vocal surgery. There's so much disinformation about vocal surgery out there. The surgical techniques used today are very unlikely to have the negative outcomes people associate with older vocal surgery. Do your research on surgeon and technique and consider what your expectations are.
I've been voice training for about a decade. It's hard. I work every day with my voice and I can't get my voice to a place where it passes all the time. I settle for giving my pronouns on every call. That does help some. But no I'm planning on vocal surgery after I had the revelation that it is far more advanced than people would have you believe. And I wish there was a greater push to see it as important as grs. It should be covered by insurance.
If you're looking for a recommendation where money is of no consequence, Yeson voice center in South Korea is far and away the most advanced in the world. Their technique is unique and there are a lot of results you can find online. I was looking into the Haben Practice for Voice and Laryngeal Surgery in upstate New York. Their technique is one of the more advanced ones in North America. However, I am Canadian, and getting in and out of America is hazardous at this point. I've been weighing other options.
This post has been verified both by me and the moderators at 196. Kaira is real, and her fundraiser is legitimate.
I'd also like to point out that, yes, fundraisers are allowed in this community. Those have never been against the rules here. Moderator verification is required, but once verified, they're welcome here.
I'm glad that you feel safe talking about your experiences here. This space is for questioning people as well, and you are absolutely welcome here.
It can definitely be hard to feel feminine when we can't see past all the things other people say exclude us from femininity. I can definitely relate to that a lot. It's like we're locked out of half of human expression just because other people decided we couldn't present that way. Thoughts like that were very prevalent for me during a lot of my life. Being gender non-conforming is hard.
I did want to respond to a few things. Firstly, you don't have to have extreme discomfort/dysphoria in order to transition or to want to transition. A lot of transfeminine people relate to a feeling of passive apathy about their bodies and presentation as opposed to strong persistent dysphoria. There's no real qualifiers for wanting to transition. If transitioning/presenting more feminine makes you feel happy/euphoric, then that's what matters more than anything. Being trans is about joy. It's about feeling a sense of connection with who we are and the image we present to the world.
Second, there's no rules for being trans or transitioning. There are some transfem people who will always go back to presenting as a man (boymoding) when they're around family or friends or at work. It's about what feels comfortable or realistic to you.
Thirdly, there's no age limit to transition. And related to that, I have met passing women who pre transition very stereotypically fit the conventions of masculinity. Feminizing hormone replacement meds are amazing. And I've met passing women who didn't start to transition until their 60s. That's not to say that HRT (hormone replacement therapy) is magic that will make anyone instantly pass, but that it's far more complex than it seems at first. It changes a lot about your body. Your starting point does not entirely relate to what HRT can do for you.
Lastly, I want to recommend reading the gender dysphoria Bible. It's linked in the community sidebar. It talks a lot about some of the things I mentioned above and really has a lot of answers to questions about what it is to be trans or to want to transition. I really do encourage you to read it. It helps a lot of people understand what they're feeling a bit better.
Welcome to the ladies and femmes club :) Explore your identity at the pace that feels right for you! You're allowed to start transitioning whenever you feel ready, and you can include whoever you want to include in that. It doesn't have to be the whole world all at once. It's your identity and it's your right to come out however and whenever you feel comfortable to do so.
That being said get into it! Try clothes that you've always been curious about trying on yourself. Try all the femme coded things you've wanted to do but have always felt barred from doing, like makeup or nails or growing your hair out or whatever that means for you. Experience gender euphoria and trans joy. You deserve to feel that.
This type of post is allowed... but this is a community for transfeminine people. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with that community per se, but I would definitely prefer it if they explicitly mentioned somewhere that transfem nonbinary people are welcome in their community too.
Otherwise I think this post might fall on the side of against the cardinal rule of this community. That being "this is a safe space for transfeminine people". The fact that enbies specifically seem to be excluded inclines me towards removing it.
No worries, thanks for adding them.
Could you remove the screenshots specifically or spoiler them? We have a rule on this community about reposting bigoted content, and this would count.
Yeah, it's probably very difficult to get into the US right now, and with all the deportations going on, they could try and deport any refugees after they arrive.
There's definitely other places worth considering.
Parts of the US will be bad. But even the worst parts are significantly better than the conditions she's describing here. Not a great time to be trying to get into the US though 😥 probably better for her to aim for Canada.
Profound discomfort and repulsion at my own body, particularly the things testosterone changed about my body. Extreme distress as I went through puberty, especially with the deepening of my voice and the growth of facial hair. Deep envy of bodies that did not go through testosterone exposure like mine did. Frustration at how people perceived me, spoke to me and treated me. Depression about how far away I seemed to be from who I wanted to be. Anxiety about my presentation. A complete lack of being able to see a future for myself. I could never see myself aging as a man.
There's so many other things. But those are the major points. Nearly all of those feelings I am recollecting. I am very happy with my body and my presentation and how others see me now. My voice remains a source of dysphoria for me but not enough to outweigh the euphoria I feel being me.