KillingAndKindess

joined 2 years ago

Meta really seems to want to become irrelevant as dumb as possible

Thank you for this reply, was about to spoil my entire Xmas until realizing you're totally right, we already in that particular boat.

Really love this, me and mine already got a ways down this planning path, but there are some really great tips I hadn't considered. It also feels nice to know that my thoughts are shared by yet another.

[–] KillingAndKindess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I have found no representation anywhere on any level in today's politics, so this doesn't surprise me. As far as I'm concerned, if you're in politics and you are not demanding a full remodeling of the political system in this country, then you aren't representing me, queer or not.

Thats said, I guess its nice to see that there was only one who was in favor, I'd have thought there might be more given the current situation.

For me, there wasn't much available in the vein of live action media that I found to be affirming. I didn't care for RuPaul before hearing about his less than ideal thoughts of our community, so there isn't much.

I would say though, there is so much trans-esq/directly trans storylines to be found among Anime of all genres. I also found the dark(er) than real life focus that is most media of today to be a real negative part of my content. Once I stopped consuming dark fictional content, combined with limiting my video-based news, I found that I had sooooo much more room to both examine/appreciate/dream about a positive future for myself, especially my tolerance to withstand dysphoria.

One anime I really found myself relating to almost all of the characters in some aspect, including the very clearl gender-rebel or sorts, was Netflix's The Seven Deadly Sins (the show). If you like fun fantasy with the right amount of camp and silly tropes, Its a great watch.

Note about the police:

This should really be taken with the understanding that I am a white (trans)woman, who is sober, quiet, who is well practiced in the masking needed to make these types of interactions survivable. I am acutely aware that I am very privileged to have not been treated in the way POC's have and still are. I feel like POC's are likely to be safe in MN, but I'm not qualified to really speak anything beyond that.

In total, I would guess I have had ~20-25 interactions with police over the last 1.5years. All but 2 of them were almost identical: Sleeping while parked legally overnight, and lasting all of 3 mins to knock on my covered window, do a quick ID check, and make sure im not drunk / OD'd

The other 2 were fortunately just as uneventful.

Stay safe out there, no matter where you come from, and remember to stick together when you can. 💜

[–] KillingAndKindess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I've posted a fair handful of comments about the details leading to my current situation, as well as plenty of details about life since, on various posts elsewhere on lemmy. I'm going to avoid wasting time that I already spent writting what was a better comment than I have the energy to do rn. If you have a question, i'll be sure to respond, and especially quick to other transpeople who have questions and are considering seeking safety here.

Also, feel free to DM me if you have concerns you'd prefer to not have in comments.

Stay safe out there, you're worth it!

 

"OutFront has worked with people from 20 states, including states like Texas and Missouri, along the Interstate 35 corridor and southeast states Florida, Tennessee and Georgia, Rohn said.

Minnesota’s relatively strong job market and economy are a draw for those seeking access to care"

Due to confounding factors, I can only say this is probably a good statement for those arriving with some savings, or had the time to find a job before the move. I have not had this level of luck myself, but this is the first city I've ever lived in where I have felt a desire to set down roots.*

"A November attack on two trans women at a light rail station in downtown Minneapolis, with cheers from onlookers, deterred a few people Charley spoke with who had been considering a move to Minnesota. He said it was hard on many members of the Twin Cities Transplant group. 

“To me, (bystanders cheering) was the most devastating part,” Charley said.

A place to call home

Housing is a considerable obstacle for many transplants — the housing crisis in the Twin Cities affects everybody, but the absence of a dedicated LGBTQ+ shelter is a risk for anyone relocating without guaranteed access to housing, Charley said. 

“And you can’t sleep in your car,” Charley said. “I talked to a transplant last year who was talking about doing anything to get out of Texas and mentioned in February living in a car.”

Charley said the “Catch-22” of finding a job without a local address is another challenge because employers might eliminate out-of-state applicants. To secure an apartment, one needs a job and proof of income, he said."

I don't know for sure if I am the actual person this interviewee said they had spoken to, but I may be since every description fits, and am willing to share and answer and questions you may have down in the comments.

To start off with what was mentioned in the article:

  • There actually are dedicated services for unhoused younger transpeople (the oldest age that is included by any of the groups is 25).

  • I have been living in my vehicle at various areas around the MN metro since bailing on Texas becoming a decent place July 4th weekend 2023 (more detail im the comments)

  • I have had 0 interactions with anyone here that made me feel LESS safe due to my identity or presentation. And after learning some terrifying lessons on some things to not do, I haven't had any interactions at all overnight with the exception of 1 police check up every 1-2 months for the last year...(notes and qualifying stuff in comments)

If you are wondering If Minneapolis, or Minnesota overall, is worth the move, then I would say yes to anyone with a well laid plan and a small savings for comfort.

And you're saftey is at risk because you live in the worst areas, I can say 1.5 years of car life in MN has without a doubt been way better for my mental, physical, and spiritual help than 1.5 years back in texas under even a million dollar roof(frankly because I'd be hanging from it one way or another long before the year mark)

 

*Edit: JFC, I've been physically ill at the thought that I was just trying to justify choosing something that was just shitty behavior. I haven't even been all that comfortable talking to my therapist about it as much as I've needed to. And reading every single response (so far)..... well i'm in literal tears over the relief I feel not being alone in thought. Thank you. *

To clarify, they want me to use the money to buy a duplex / other property for me take care of (for the entire place) and to renovate and to live in, while renting out the other unit/room/whathaveyou so that I don't have to worry about property taxes or the basic necessities of life.

(feel free to ignore this paragraph explaining my anxities and ignorance)The entire topic of inheritance and the circumstances leading to one has caused several of my worst panic attacks when it has been brought up in the past. (Bad enough to require medication assistance to regulate) And thankfully, this family member was aware and stopped bringing it up as they were in the habit of doing. Over the last 2 years I've come a long way with my issue and getting help fortunately, which has proven to be useful in this context recently. Their health recently took a scary decline, I've been able to regulate myself in the discussions that have followed, within reason.

I haven't yet been capable of asking the specifics on how much money it will be, or if there will be any trusts or whatever etc. And honestly, I don't think I'll be able to in the near future. But the way they talk about it, it sounds as though it will be enough to at (at least almost) pay for a small duplex type of situation.

I'm currently unhoused, and have been for over a year, so there is no love of capitalism in me, much less any desire to "be a landlord". I feel very ethically convicted against becoming what I think of when I think of Landlords, even one of those local 2-3 property owning ones.

Unfortunately I feel that clashing with the rest of values surrounding honoring the wishes of what is currently my last surviving relative (who I still remain in contact with and love dearly). Not to mention whatever might be a part of any legal stuff pertaining to her will. (which I know hardly anything about and still makes me panicked just typing about)

My main question:

Is it ethical to own a property that I live in, provide the standard maintenance for, and work on renovating.... and also rent out part of it?

I value my ethics, and part of that has always been assessing the nuances thoughtfully. When I think about the specifics of this, I find difficulty in framing that situation as the role of a landlord. Landlord being defined, at least the way I think about what a landlord is / the way other people use it.

My followup question:

Is anyone who is paid money that is for sure another person's "rent money" considered a landlord, regardless of it being the only property they own? Even if they also live there?

*Edit 2: for only those in such a position, I have no shame sharing this link since the 1st time was many months ago https://gofund.me/9bd76285 *

I mean, migration is a valid option, even considering the inconvenience and costs.

I'm unhoused atm, and even I have found a verifiable way to move, legally, to another country with more room for hope, with as little money as I have.

Taking a stand means you're feet should on top of something secure enough to hold you and worth saving at all. I simply don't have it within me to be a part of the frontlines when the Frontline is razor thin and full of holes.

I held out hope for years now, that people on "both sides" will turn and face the real problems. I've insisted on finding, defining, and attempting to make use of knowing where my values and "theirs" diverge. I choose daily to assume that there are hardly any people on this rock that wake up each day without a single positive intent, and that means people can start somewhere....

And, I still do.

But the catalyst to bring both sides to a point of needing to find common ground, no matter how little, to work from just... isn't coming. Not without violence or everyone experiencing a drop in quality of life at least matching the worst experiences of today's least fortunate. Thats all the remains on a very long list of things that could've started the reaction in this country.

And I'm done with it. I'm likely going to have to pull the trigger on these plans, and I'm not too upset about it either. I'd much rather set down roots somewhere else with at lot more people who are already practiced in making positive changes to society.

Fight if you want, I get it, or rather I had it. I want nothing more than for things to change sooner and smoother. But I've gotta ration what few fucks to give that remain from an already really rough lot in life from the start.

Sorry for word vomit rant

[–] KillingAndKindess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Brave.

Where, I wonder, did these transpeople find enough hope for this country to get arrested for such a peaceful protest?

I need to know, cause I either want some myself, or need to avoid where it is.... i'm not sure which

Cause I can at least trust this pole not to vote trump and ghost me after I smoke it!

 
[–] KillingAndKindess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wonderful to see!

That... is one badass smotherfucker right there! I still drop my Estrogen syringes from random nervousness.

 

As promised yesterday, here's probably the first photo I've ever posted of myself

 

Found out tonight that my mom is in the hospital and been diagnosed with late stage lung cancer. I've been low contact with her since shortly after coming out. It sounds like they don't expect her to leave.

 

After helping some others on here, I realized its both OK, and a good idea for me to ask for help with my current situation. I've posted some details about my situation before, but I tried to write a more concise explanation on my fundraising page.

Thanks for even bothering to read this, and for any help you may be able to give. Thank you 💜💜💜

view more: next ›