Hexarei

It sounds like you're holding yourself hostage a little, and might want to take a step back and a deep breath. Evaluate your situation and see whether so much preparation and planning is really necessary - or whether you can just pick a small group you know will be supportive to come out to first, and then maybe just live as yourself?

As for clothing being expensive: Thrift stores, thrift stores, thrift stores! I've built almost my entire wardrobe from thrifting and it's been a delight to only spend $30-40 at a time for several different pieces.

Edit : this was supposed to be in response to the main thread but ohwell

It's a medical thing when you're trans! :^)

I did the same, can hit notes down into the D2 range. But I'm apparently starting to get more passable with my voice because I've been ma'am'd on the phone a time or two.

Your vocal muscles are way more flexible than you think!

Funny how we're drawn together even before we know why we're drawn together sometimes. Thanks for sharing!

Thank you so much! The worst days recently have been better than the best days before.

Beehaw isn't just for queer folks, nobody's gonna force you to be a lesbian or trans your gender, it's just that Beehaw is a space that is explicitly pro-queer folks.

I am confused as to how cat photos could be inappropriate but ok. Hope you find somewhere to call home in the fediverse :-)

No worries at all! I wasn't offended, just pointing out that others might find that wording confusing since it makes it sound like a choice to become what you are instead of a choice to accept yourself and embrace it. I agree though it's a rather meaningless distinction in the grand scheme of things: I chose to change the way I identify, even if my identity didn't actually change. I chose to embrace myself for who I am, rather than continue fighting the dispair and depression of living the lie I wasnt even aware was a lie.

I learned of gender dysphoria and realized I suffered from it and needed treatment. Did that turn me queer? Who cares, it's the moment I pivoted toward being the best me I can be! And that's what matters :-)

Thanks for being an ally, it's really clear you're on our side even if words are jard and you should never let anyone try and tell you that isn't good enough.

That's all so fun to hear! My spouse of 11 years (together for 15 now, crazy) is very femme nonbinary and demi, so I also have had one of the most supportive and successful experiences of transition that I can imagine someone having when it comes to personal life. They have been so glad to see me being joyous and happy, embracing the sapphic nature of it lol.

I'm just shy of 6 months sublingual monotherapy but I'm not passing afaict, though having lost some 45 pounds and taking better care of myself I've at least had some moments where makeup and my newfound confidence seem to carry me a long way. I've gotten a couple of judgy stares in public but so far I've been told I look great by folks I saw regularly pre-transition.

I also had a pretty fulfilling life up to this point, and spent two eggy years being excited about being "gender non-conforming" by wearing skirts and pretty hair clips and long socks (after a friend gifted me some "programmer socks" as a joke and I loved them lmao.

What ultimately made my egg shatter was reading https://genderdysphoria.fyi/ and realizing I had a combination of chemical and social dysphoria. I wasn't happy at all, just endlessly avoiding sliding into despair. I was heavily experiencing derealization and depersonalization. Also spent a couple months trying to work out the difference between gender envy and attraction. I'm also apparently very stereotypical transfem, enjoying girls shows as a kid and playing girl characters in games... There came a point where it was undeniable.

I'm still not out to everyone in my life yet but I'm working on it. Planning to tell my parents this weekend, and taking it much slower with anything public because I know a lot of my extended family will be harder to deal with. I also work for a small company that I know is likely to let me go as soon as I'm out to them. I could be wrong about that but I'm not taking the chance, will fly under the radar as long as I can there.

HRT itself has been crazy good to my brain though. I no longer suffer from a looming sense of despair, my self worth has skyrocketed, and I am no longer afraid to take up space. Drowning in self-contempt is no longer my reality and I refuse to let myself go back to the feeling that every day is exactly the same. It's like the world was tilted and I was constantly sliding downhill in the direction of nihilistic doom and gloom, and HRT fixed gravity so I can actually move in the direction of happy now. My worst days now are better than my best days were before. Crazy how medical treatment does that lol.

I dunno that it's likely that folks become queer as a result, but I think I know what you mean. perhaps that they recognize the reasons they felt a kinship with queer folks is because of their own queerness whether we really comprehended it intellectually or not.

It definitely rings true that we we wind up banding together regardless of whether we meant to!

Apparently it's more common a story than I originally expected, ha! Thanks for chiming in :-)

As am I! Thanks to you and anyone else who moderates for your work in keeping the place sane <3

Hahahah! I can understand the desire to avoid right wing spaces too. There's something calming about knowing that the only thing you're going to be judged on in a queer space is being a complete jerk and treating people poorly, or trolling and trying to ragebait (which counts as the former if you ask me...).

That's super neat though, I hadn't even considered VR queer spaces but that makes a ton of sense!