I agree that we’re in a fascist time, but we’ve overplayed the word. Now it needs to mean “actively killing people in death camps” or something for the populous to not have their eyes glaze over with people being “dramatic.”
A shitty situation all around.
I can’t solve your issues, but you sound unmedicated or like your meds are mismatched. I’m far from “meds solve everything!” and strongly believe that talk therapy is the best route forward (with a competent therapist, because I’ve had bad ones). Having said that, with what you’re communicating, I get the sense that meds could help.
Hoping you feel better, homie. Sorry you’re going through a rough patch. I lost my sister to suicide 2 weeks ago, and I hope you never take that route.