DarkAri

Hmm idk I'm sure there is a way to find them if you can put some details together like time of birth, original name, hometown, stuff like that, idk.

Ask one of their family members

Yes. You seem really cool. Idk why I put the DMT reference in there. I don't do drugs or anything and never really have outside of weed.

I know it's what I want to do. Not just because I want to do it, but because I already am and always was a lady. Of course I am because why would anyone want to be the other gender if they weren't already? Either way, to heck with gender! Humans have really not done well in history. I know much of that was sort of necessary in some ways, but human history is a history of exploitation and terrorism and brainwashing. Even if I die in my transition I will die happy and unafraid. Even if most people don't understand me, they don't understand me anyways but, at least now I understand myself. When I admired I was trans 4 years ago. I have found a deep happiness from it that hasn't went away since then.

I hope your dreams come true and the world is kind to you...

I have no idea what mine is, but Im a bit scared of boobs because I'm trying to pass as both. I'm a bit older and have a job and stuff, but I have been making moves to set me up for the future in case things go south.

Honestly the longer you take them the more affect you will see in everyway, so if something about the transition bothers you, just know that in a year it will be better.

My favorite and unexpected thing by far have been the changes to my mind. I never really considered it. It feels like a huge upgrade from the guy hormones. I feel so calm. I love it.

To me hrt was like DMT a bit as in, you really don't realize what you are getting into until the moment you do it and it hits you. I realized that where drugs target a neurotransmitter system, this hormone was affecting not only every part of my body but also the epigenetic expression of probably nearly every protein in my body.

I kind of was a bit confused about the how trans am I really? thing... I felt like an imposter a bit. I knew it wasn't a fetish because I have always felt like a girl on the inside but when I started it I realized that I really was a woman. On a deep biological level. Not just in my personality and my style preferences, and in the people I admired, and the way I acted without a filter, but like the deep alignment i felt the day I put estrogen in my body. I realized quickly that I wasn't faking it. That I really was a woman because for the first time in my life I felt and acted normal. My brain just worked. My energy was stable, as my emotions were as well. I felt good. Complacent. Beautiful.

Idk I'm glad you found yourself. I hope I can make friends in the future in my local area. I'm basically reliving entire phases of my life rn trying to just be myself and be normal like I never could do earlier. I'm glad there are millions of trans people now. People used to misunderstand us more but I think the future will be positive, and this time when the anti gay angle does I don't think it will come back again.

Another cool thought. People think we are weird but I actually think we are the normal ones. I think we are normal humans. I think humans are just fluid and andro typically and are like geysers of pure creativity and form and individual art. I think humans are supposed to not care about their gender and gender was never really meant to be anything other than different sexual organs and personality and stuff. Guys were always meant to be cute and girls were meant to just be less intense versions of cute guys. Idk tho.

I loved reading that. Thank you! I totally get the walking into doors stuff that happened pretty much immediately for me. Our experiences are highly similar.

When I started I definitely felt different emotionally. I was way more calm and relaxed and emotionally stable personally. However at about the 6 month mark, I do a lower dose btw and aim for a very typical female range, I really started to notice some of the deeper epigenetic changes starting to take place. A bit after 6 months my body hair slowed its growth significantly. My facial hair a bit, and boobs started to appear. I actually noticed a bit of extra butt first, something I liked. I was losing a little hope about my body hair and then It happened pretty quick.

To me it seemed like the personality stuff came on fairly hard from the first day I took it. It took a bit before I started noticing changes in my shape.

So if you are wondering what to expect, I would say,

1st day - personality and emotional changes. Mine was very positive. Lower blood pressure maybe a bit of light headedness. Slight changes in my digestion and stomach ph.

Month 1 - month 4 - skin changes, losing a bit of strength, energy levels becoming more stable then I was used to on guy hormones. Quite mind, comfortable and happy and warm. Body's biosphere is adjusting to new PH. Slight feminization of face due to softer muscle tension and clearer and softer skin. Nipples are very sensitive and I lost most of my male sexual desire. Start to find guys a bit cuter then I normally do. Facial hair became thinner and lighter.

Month 6 - noticing fat distribution changes. Stomach is smaller for same weight, by this point I had lost a fair bit of mass in my shoulder and neck area, started to get the first signs of actual breasts, have to be careful what shirt I wear if I'm guy moding. Stomach is smaller, thighs are getting a bit thicker, and pants fit tighter. I have a butt now! Not noticable but cute. Body hair has slowed significantly.

Now I'm around month 7-8. I had a bit of a depressive period cuz I was freaking out a little about the boobs. I was hoping I'd be able to hide it a little longer. Still I'm very happy and got over it. Instill know I want to do it now no matter what comes of it. It's how I want to live.

I have enjoyed watching the changes because I have an interest in biology. I also like to tell others what they might can expect.

Haha well glad everyone is welcome.

Hell yeah, tactical femboy! I have a few guns, an arming sword, some reproduction armor, a Templar dagger, a switchblade, and will probably get some thermal goggles when I have some extra cash to spend one day.

I also have a semi complete set of tools, a Linux phone, a tool bag backpack, a 30 wh battery bank with built in solar panel, and some other stuff. Don't have to be a serf just because you are trans!

I'm lucky cuz I only needed 50 mg of it.

I bet I'm not the only one who had an imaginary friend growing up only to realize it was myself later in life.

The trades off are pretty simple.

On the negative you have to buy medicine which costs money. If you are male transitioning to female, you also have to do extra stuff like shave alot, although the hormones slow down hair growth.

Another negative is that your penis will not work nearly as well as it did.

Some more, discrimination, which is a bitch, and you become less able to defend yourself.

Become sterile under full doses of t blockers.

Some pros,

Happiness if that's what you want to do with your life.

Improved mental health under estrogen. Slightly improved physical health. Less anxiety, less extreme emotions. Estrogen was really good for my brain for some reason. Probably my favorite part tbh. The mental changes.

More attractive in general. For the other way, FtM, you will also probably also find yourself more attractive.

Stops balding. Lowers metabolism, probably adds a bit to your lifespan.

Not having to pretend to be a gender you aren't. It's a very cool thing to feel normal for once. In other words. It basically cures gender disphoria.

Some neutral things.

Lose a lot of friends but also become cooler to many others.

So basically what I would suggest, is, do you think it will make you happier, despite the additional challenges in life, like fitting in, finding work, having to pay for medicine? If so, I think it's very worth it. It made me way more happier then I thought it would. I have no regrets.

Also if you have bad gender disphoria, then also it might be a better life. I didn't realize how shitty I felt trying to be a guy until I finally stopped doing it.

Anyways don't let other people control your life take control of your own life. You don't need anyone's permission to be happy and to pursue your own happiness. If you can't do it yet then experiment with it. You don't have to have hrt to transition. I started to do it 3 years before I even started any medical stuff. Thought about it for many years before that.

Anyways good luck, and we are all going to die eventually anyways. All of us. Don't waste your life and don't fear death, fear being unhappy and wasting your life. People have their bodily and you have yours. Do what you want with it.

I take patches for e and pills to block t. It's a bit less work to maintain maybe.

If you are taking shots you might have a larger drop off right before you take your next one which will kill your energy and stuff. Low hormone levels make you feel tired.

For me when it's the last day I feel a bit tired and emotional, but when I change the patches I feel much better. Kind of amazing how a little e can make me feel so much better. I don't even know how I survived before I found hrt. Testosterone makes me feel like shit too, so it's double plus good.