Arkhive

I’m also struggling with ADHD and actually committing time to self care and “cultivating an aesthetic”. That being said you don’t owe a particular look to anyone. Of course if it’s what you want for yourself that’s fine, but just know we don’t owe society passing. I also find the usual, mainstream parts of the internet largely unhelpful for things like makeup and fashion. Part of that is my anatomy (very pronounced brow bone and “sunken” eyes) but a big part of that is the “rest of the fucking owl” problem. People on the internet honestly do a pretty shit job explaining stuff most of the time. In my experience the best way is to just experiment.

I know clothes shopping in public can be a nightmare, but thrift stores are for the queers, and most town have at least one decent store. Thrifting is great because you can experiment a lot, with often odd items, but spend very little. Once you start to develop a sense of what you think looks good on you using the weirder items, then you can begin to consider some targeted new clothing purchases. Some good basics and a couple high quality statement pieces can go a long way.

For makeup the hardest part for me was finding the line where the wing for eyeliner wanted to land. This just took time, experimentation, and the odd friend doing it for me to see how it looked done by someone with a more deft hand. Eye shadow was fairly easy for me personally with just a few general rules. Lighter color near your nose, a darker shade toward the outside of your eye and along the crease of your lid and the eye socket, blending a mid tone between the two. Something a bit shimmery over the top and maybe a few well placed dots of liner, or some thin lines near your tear duct to play with the size your eyes appear to be. I really only just started using foundation, but I try to keep it mostly to my chin and jaw as that’s where you can see some dark ends of hairs when I’ve shaved. I’ve got naturally fairly rosy cheeks, but I’ll sometimes bring the foundation a bit further up my face and then do blush.

That’s sort of my “simple” look, and is really the only thing I practice right now. My goal is to be able to do that within 15 minutes, and I’m sitting at about 20-25 right now. Similar with fashion. When I’ve got a well curated capsule wardrobe, picking an outfit doesn’t cause as much executive dysfunction. Basically I’m looking to make the task of self care less daunting and thus more likely to happen. I still want to get medicated for ADHD as I think I’d become unstoppable, but in the mean time this is helping a bit.

This reminds me of the cover of a book titled Glitch Feminism. It’s very good, would recommend.

Which I can confirm from lab testing 😆!! The things we do 😬

Edit: Appreciate you clarifying. I agree. Don’t use them on your face. That was the 10 on my pain scale.

Yeah, for that much surface area tweezers probably aren’t the way. Only other advice I have is to really make sure you are matching the direction of the rotation with the direction your follicles are oriented. I could maybe make a quick diagram if you want, but basically making sure the drum is spinning in the right direction relative to the grain of your hair. With all the wacky directions the hair on my face grows in I had to really fight to figure out how to best use the epilator.

Where are you using it? I tried my face once and I couldn’t get it done. I honestly think going one at a time with tweezers would have been better. You can more carefully find the angle the specific follicle wants the hair to be pulled at.

You might be able to find decent sized silicone mats searching for electronics work pads or something like that. Maybe “anti static silicone work mat”…

I started transition at 27 and while I do feel a lot of my childhood was essentially robbed from me, I also feel I was far better equipped to navigate all the decisions needed around transitioning. You’ll get there. If your primary goal is to move and eventually get a job, you could look into a trade school. You’ll come out the other side with a very employable skill set. The one tricky part would be finding a trade that is slightly less dominated by men, or just full send it and be the token femme that shatters their understanding of gender norms. Besides, trans girl mechanics and carpenters are hot af

I didn’t have a particularly negative connection with my given name, and I always liked the people I knew I shared it with. Some of them role models and mentors, some of them ancestors, and even the saint I shared a name with was oddly fitting, even though I’m not religious. I wanted to honor that connection while also taking the chance to reconnect with my family’s ancestry and the language of that land, on top of picking a more femme name. I started researching names from the language of my ancestors but eventually broadened my search to the geographic region as there is pretty heavy overlap between names in the languages of the region. While I was searching I happened to read a book by an author with an unusual name that looked familiar. I realized I had glanced at it in my searching and I took it as a bit of a sign. I researched the name, found it not only is explicitly the femme version of my given name, but its meaning also worked very well. On top of that I like the letters that are in it slightly more than my given name.

Sorry to never actually reveal the name. It’s odd enough I’m pretty sure with that and my post history across the fediverse you could dox me.

Came here to say the same thing.

I’ve always been a bit of a pet whisperer, even well before I started HRT. Particularly with pets whose owners say “they don’t really like men”. Your cat doesn’t like men? Great me neither, we’ll get along swimmingly, and five minutes later the cat is sitting on my lap willing to receive belly scratches. It really is super validating.

Oh my gosh, wait. This is so nice. Like I almost cried a little. Thanks!! 🌹 🌺 🌼

They literally cannot even conceptualize a man having the ability to make appropriate and consensual contact with a woman. They’ll put genuinely nice, well adjusted, people on blast for even looking in a woman’s direction, let alone gasp holding her hand! Like I can understand being a bit suspicious of men in general, but holy shit, there’s other people we need to be scrutinizing WAY more than Pedro Pascal.