Transfem

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A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
Please be kind and respectful to all.
Please tag NSFW topics.
No NSFW image posts.
Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
Please do not repost bigoted content here.

This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

Some helpful links:

The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.

Support Hotlines:

The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.

founded 2 years ago

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Something weird happened 🫠 (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) by Catgirl@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

NSFW 15 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I met a guy for some kinky stuff and I normally don’t tend to tell people I‘m trans, as I have pretty much cis passing and prefer to live stealth. We had a lot of fun and he started to stick his fingers inside me. It was really intense and he reached spots I have never felt and it made me crazy. Afterwards, he told me that my cervix is kinda weird. And I was like „hu?“ and didn’t want to tell him that I don’t have one. So he told me that it feels kinda weird. And now I don’t know what to say about it, if he ever brings it up again.

I know its better to be honest about my past but something like that never happened before. I normally tell guys that I can’t have children, if I have serious intentions. But if I just wanna have some fun, why should I tell someone.

I kinda wanna be „done“ with this part of my life. But it feels kinda wrong to not be proud of my identity and keep it a secret. Idk 🤷‍♀️

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[–] CobblerScholar@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

So I'm a cis man and I hope I'm not intruding and hope I'll be helpful posting my take. I'm not taken to casual sexual relationships personally as I'm Asexual but if I were in your partners shoes I'd want to know in much the same way that I'd like to know if someone was a virgin beforehand. Its not something that would make me not want to hook up necessarily but I can imagine there are things that I could do differently that would make the whole experience better for both of us if I did know. That being said I completely understand the desire to move past that part of your life and I haven't personally been in a relationship with a Trans person before so please take this with a massive grain of salt. Good luck, I hope everything works out for you

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I think disclosing trans status when you're passing and post-op to a casual hookup is crazy, tbh - there's no motivation to do it

maybe if this were husband material or something, but even then I would really have to think about whether I would want even my spouse to know I'm trans ...

here's something to think about: what does being trans mean to you? Why is it helpful to disclose?

as far as I can tell, all it does is communicate to someone that I'm "not really a woman" - and this is the opposite of the truth. There is nothing to gain by undermining my gender, and plenty to lose.

[–] nullroot@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

Honestly agree. I would want to know but that's just cause I'm a huge ally and would think it's really cool and want to encourage or support, but also that's your life, your past, and completely up to you if you want to share. I would also agree with another poster that disclosing that information could potentially lead to a violent reaction unfortunately.

So if it's your past and no one's business keep it like that. If you want to share, probably best to be upfront before sexy times because to even the best intentioned humans that might be a bit of a mind fuck. Born without a uterus does seem like a very neat way to not lie and allow a person to make the wrong assumptions also lol.