I'm not gonna lie, I've been depressed and hopeless for the past year, not because I feel I have nothing to live for, but because I do. I'm finally a real fucking person for the first time in my life, and I'm living through a nightmare world I somewhat expected. None of this really surprised me. I knew our future would be a horrific decline for my entire adult life, but I was prepared to face it because I didn't care whether I lived or died.
The year and a half I had as myself before I knew I'd have to live through fascism was the first time I was truly looking forward to my future. I naively hoped that I'd at least have till China invaded Taiwan to establish a life for myself without an extreme upending of the status quo, but then the worst came to pass and I knew it was only a matter of time till my future became fully criminalized.
So now all I can do is survive. To not get imprisoned and very likely die. To somehow outlast the hate directed at us and start to regain what was lost. I won't kill myself for them; they'll need to do it themselves.
It's an option, but I'm not betting on it. Nowhere is really safe from fascism and transphobic laws
Hah, my therapist was going through a list of countries where it would be safer with trans rights than this place in the middle east I'm at. Portugal, Iceland, etc. Not just do I also see the whole world super unstable right now anyway, but I also might just stay to fight for rights here, as my personal preference.
Also FWIW or if you ever lose sight of your self-worth, your memes played the most significant part in my realising my gender identity better and all the good that will come from that, and I'm forever grateful for it.
Thank you. It means a lot to me.
And to me! You're welcome :)
I grew up in the middle east, closeted, and only out to my therapist(s). (In fact, it took a while to find one who didn't look at me with shock/horror/disgust lol.) I really feel for you and am also inspired by you!
I'm glad you found one who is (at least somewhat) working :) and thank you for the kind words. It's really sweet :)