Transfem

5339 readers

151 users here now

A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
Please be kind and respectful to all.
Please tag NSFW topics.
No NSFW image posts.
Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
Please do not repost bigoted content here.

This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

Some helpful links:

The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.

Support Hotlines:

The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone

ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone

ada@piefed.blahaj.zone

Does anyone else struggle with the concept of self-acceptance and how that relates to their transness? (slrpnk.net)

submitted 1 month ago by zeezee@slrpnk.net to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

16 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I just read this article about beauty standards and while I see the excess of it as harmful I can't help but feel hypocritical when I think about laser or hormones or even putting on eye shadow and mascara, not to mention FFS.

Every time I read a piece on self-acceptance and body-positivity I stop and ask myself - why can't I be happy with my body? For me the dysphoria is mostly social but even then - why can't I just accept my AGAB and live with it? How is changing my body to fit opposing gender norms (so I pass etc) different to gender-affirming procedures for one's AGAB?

Both require the same underlying systems - and my face laser wouldn't be attainable without the massive beauty industry making it affordable by virtue of many cis women using the service.

Similar with hormones. If most postmenopausal women didn't get E prescribed, then it would be prohibitaly expensive (I guess this is a weaker point since hormones are beneficial for health reasons not just beauty) but still my use case is mostly aesthetical (to pass) so that feels even less justified.

It feels as if my transition is only possible because it's either subsidised by an industry I see as harmful or via methods not intended for their initial purpose.

Anyone else struggle with any of this?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I don't think self acceptance as applied to cis people in the context of beauty standards can be useful for alleviating dysphoria. Gender dysphoria is not just social and is not just a matter of not accepting yourself. Unfortunately there is no kind of "conversion therapy" that is successful in eliminating gender dysphoria - the only known effective treatment is social and medical transition.

There is evidence that surgeries that are used to pursue body ideals in patients with body dysmorphia do not alleviate the distress from the body dysmorphia, whereas surgeries that align people with gender dysphoria with their gender identity do actually reduce distress and improve well-being.

Gender dysphoria should be treated differently than merely an extension of beauty standards. Hormones do much more than just change how you look, they significantly alter your brain and mood. Cis people when forced to take cross-sex hormones develop depression and other mental health symptoms, and it's not surprising that many trans people likewise experience those symptoms and find they are alleviated upon having the correct sex hormones.

I think if you look closely at any industry you will find terribly harmful roots to those industries. To bake muffins you might use baking soda that was extracted from the earth in unsustainable ways that polluted streams, killed wildlife, and relied on exploitative labor practices.

You aren't responsible for the fact that medically necessary care for trans individuals like laser hair removal comes from or is connected to a cosmetics industry that has played a role in cultivating and exploiting body dysmorphia in mostly cis women.

The circumstances and industries don't have to be perfect to justify choosing to accept care that is proven to improve clinical outcomes in trans patients.