This. My partner (love) used to use all these excuses with her friends out of guilt for not having a "good reason" for not wanting to go to something... ohhh what a tangled web we weave I'd say as she left a fib for why she couldn't go out to a concert after working two weeks straight. Invariably she'd go for a casual walk with another friend and get caught in her web of lies after someone saw her.

A minor faux pas, but so much stress just to avoid admitting you don't feel like it.

Anyway she's much better now. I'd like to think some of that is my being a radically honest judgemental misanthrope rubbing off on her.

She has like several of orders of magnitude more really good friends than me though, so I could definitely benefit from letting some of her rub off on me, too.

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago

The thing to remember about having more friends is that that lifestyle requires maintenance. It’s not enough to make friendships, you have to constantly put in work to keep them.

I used to feel jealous of people with lots of friends. But I realized through the years that I simply don’t have the social energy to keep up with “lots” of friends. A smaller circle with deeper connections makes more sense for me, and I’ve come to accept and embrace that.

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago

This is the way. Life gets so much easier when you live by honesty and surround yourself with others who also live by it.

Sometimes I cancel plans with a simple, "Hey, I had a long day and I'm pretty sapped for social energy right now. Could we do something tomorrow/on the weekend/next week instead?"

People who get it, get it. People who don't get it, aren't people I'd likely hang out with in the first place.