Eldritch Mlems

This is how her cage looks in the morning when I clean it the picture above is by mid afternoon 🤣

Needless to say, she has energy, which is a good thing

She loves cuddle time has the loudest pur of any cat I’ve had 🥹

I just hit 6 months and a few days on HRT, and it’s starting to feel less like counting the days and more like something that shows up in my everyday life.

Physically, changes are definitely happening. I have breasts now, and they’re getting harder to hide under clothes. Today, for example, I slung my lunch bag over my shoulder, said goodbye to my entire office, and only realized in the bathroom right before leaving that it made my chest very noticeable. I’m still not out at work except to two friends from my master’s program, so I got a little anxious 😅. I’ve also noticed fat starting to redistribute to other parts of my body, and my face doesn’t look as angular anymore. Some people have told me I look softer, even cuter, and hearing that still makes my heart skip a beat.

The way the world reads me has started to shift too. A few times now, people in stores or on the street have called me “miss,” and then paused like they were reprocessing what they were seeing, lol. In the office bathroom, I’ve noticed men giving me confused looks when I walk in, like “wait, what’s happening?” It’s strange, awkward, and also kind of affirming in a way. A couple of coworkers didn’t recognize my profile pic and thought I was a new hire, a girl.

Emotionally, I’ve changed a lot. I cry way more easily now, over movies, small moments, random thoughts. But I’m also genuinely happier. I feel lighter. My fiancée tells me I look happier, and honestly, I feel it too.

I’ve come out to many more people over these months, and I’ve been incredibly lucky, everyone has taken it really well so far. Funny enough, several of them told me they already suspected something. That support has meant more to me than I can put into words.

My wardrobe has grown a lot, and I finally have real options when I want to dress more feminine. I’m still a bit shy about going out in full fem mode, but one of my New Year’s resolutions is to finally do it, fuck fear.

I also chose two names that I feel deeply happy and comfortable with. So comfortable, actually, that today when I went to get coffee with my boss, I ordered it using one of my chosen names. When they called it out, my boss asked me about it, I panicked and overexplained, hehe.

I’ve also started laser hair removal on my face, and the results so far have been really good, which has helped my confidence more than I expected.

And unrelated to HRT, but still very much part of this chapter of my life, I got engaged. Yay 🥰

In a few days I’ll be celebrating my birthday, and it makes me incredibly happy to know that everyone who’s coming, about 30 people, already knows about my gender identity. Being able to exist fully as myself in that space feels like a gift.

I know I’m still early in my transition, but for the first time in a long time, I truly feel like I’m moving forward.

Over more than three hours of oral arguments on Tuesday, justices grappled with questions about sex and gender as the Supreme Court heard cases on whether bans in Idaho and West Virginia are violating transgender athletes’ rights to compete in organized sports.

Attorneys for Lambda Legal and the American Civil Liberties Union argued the states violated the constitutional rights of Becky Pepper-Jackson, 15, and Lindsay Hecox, 25, when they barred them from competing. Attorneys for Idaho and West Virginia claimed it was impossible for states to sort through which trans people should and should not qualify for athletics and therefore that the states needed a blanket ban against all transgender women.

The cases, Little v. Hecox and West Virginia v. B.P.J could have big implications for transgender athletes and trans people more broadly — but rulings could just as likely be limited to the two athletes who defy conservative stereotypes about transgender athletes.

Another one of my pet peeves about fantasy world building is the concept of "large cities surrounded by miles and miles of howling wilderness" (looking at you, Forgotten Realms!) While such cities aren't completely unknown in real world history ("oasis towns" in particular, they are and were very rare. Most real world cities are surrounded by a network of smaller settlements, and while you can come up with reasons for why a fantasy city is truly isolated, a setting will be more plausible if that is a rare exception.

So, what is a good way of developing settlement patterns in fantasy worlds?

A concept I found useful for worldbuilding purposes is that of the "Central Place Theory", which describes the notion that settlements of different sizes support each other. (And I first came across it in the WFRP 1E rulebook, of all things!) While this theory is not free criticism, I feel that it yields results that are plausible enough. In order to adapt it for fantasy purposes, I propose the following categories:

• Villages are mostly inhabited by farmers and other food producers, although there might be a few specialist trades such as millers and village blacksmith. They are self-sufficient when it comes to food production, but need to trade for more complex tools. Using Central Europe as an example, it rarely takes more than an hour or two to travel to the next village.
• Towns have markets where the farmers can sell their produce, and thus are rarely more than a day's worth of travel away from any given village. They are administrative centers and can produce most of the tools that the rural population needs for daily survival. However, they are also part of a network of long-distance trade, selling surplus from their own region and buying items that are rare in the local area. Each town is supported by a small network of villages, without whom it would starve.
• Finally, Cities are major trade hubs and centers of craftsmanship. They will support multiple specialized trades and might be famous throughout the country (or beyond) for things they produce. Just like each town is supported by a network of villages, each city is supported by a network of towns.

In other words, when you place a city on a map, think about the network of towns and villages that support it. Depending on the scale of the map, you might not bother to place them all - but you should remember that they are there, instead having the wilderness start close to the city walls.

Which brings me to another point - real world history didn't have much in the way of "monster-infested wildernesses", but these are a staple of fantasy world - and they are a further reason why such dense settlement patterns might develop. After all, a lonely settlement is easy pickings for monsters - but a network of settlements can defend each other. If a single village faces monsters that are too tough for the inhabitants, they can ask for help from the next town or even city, who likely have specialist tools (and people) for that kind of thing.

In worlds where dangerous monsters roam the wilds, you could even make the argument that human(oid) civilization is not viable of the network of settlements is too thin - thus, you have "clusters of civilization" huddling together, while the wilds are full of lost settlement that could not be defended any more...

So, what are your thoughts on this? Have you put any consideration into settlement patterns for your own fantasy settings?

Two trans women arrested in an absurd “antifa” crackdown face political prosecution for their beliefs. Experts warn it’s a sign of growing authoritarianism in the U.S.

Some backstory on me, I always expected I would have kids growing up, even picked out a name for a future daughter, which when my wife and I relized we didn't want kids because our world is fucked, we don't expect we'll ever not be living paycheque to paycheque, and we borh have mental health issues that even when managed, don't feel like something we want to submit a child to. I got a vasectomy a few years ago now and I don't regret it. I've been on HRT for 4 months now, so my reproductive capabilitiesare doubly turned off. The name I picked out for a daughter ended up being the name I wanted for myself when I decided to transition. Plenty of reasons for me to not get worked up over pregnancy.

I'm currently reading For Whom the Belle Tolls by Jaysea Lynn, and there's a scene with a bunch of women talking about pregnancy, and it set me to tears becauase it hit me that I'll never be pregnant. It obviously makes sense, I haven't got any of the equipment for that, I'm married and deeply devoted to someone who doesn't have the equipment to make me pregnant, so obviously, I always knew that it wasn't possible. I don't even want kids! My siblings both have kids and while I love them to death, I do not want to and am not equipped to be a parent. It just hit me like a goddamn truck and now my wife is curled against me and snoring, and I'm trying not to start sobbing and wake her up because something I don't want to happen can't physically happen. I'll probably talk to her about it either in the morning or after work tomorrow, but meat should never have been made to think, and I'm going to have to write a strongly worded letter to whoever thought it was a good idea.

Anywhore, despite leaving me in this state, I highly recommend this book. It has had me feel so much more than any book I have ever read, and I'm only a little over half way. My wife has said the same thing and she has finished it, so if you like spicy romantacy, or want to expand your horizons, it's top of the list of everything I've read.

Edit: I ended up waking her up and we had a chat and I had a good cry. Turns out that part got her too.

my sweet kitties