neuracnu

I've not heard about a common reaction like that to estrogen, but I'm not a doctor. No clue about bicalutimide though.

I believe there can be a place for cops and corps at Pride, but I want to insist that their presence be on the queer community's terms (not event organizers).

The organizations that throw Pride events in major cities are run by people who measure success by the size and scope of their events, not based on squishy ideas like building community or organizing to achieve political results. This has happened gradually over time, as always, through financial influence.

It does cost money to organize big events, and if companies are willing to throw money at Pride, the draw to accept it is very enticing, not to mention persistent in the face of rejection and ever-hungry for more influence.

At the same time, company employees are encouraged to align themselves with Employee Resource Groups within the company, allowing the company to lean on the justification that they're supporting their own employees. However, most ERGs that I've been involved with are there primarily to tow the company line and be inoffensive; to organize cupcake parties featuring rainbow sprinkles during Pride, not pressure the HR team to remove "sex" designations from their job application processes or define standards for gender-inclusive corporate language.

I'd like to see universal guidelines that designate how "ally" organizations can contribute and participate in queer-aligned events in productive and meaningful ways. I'd like those guidelines to be written and maintained NOT by the organizers of major Pride events, but by a coalition of community members aligned with community support and advocacy (ie: the little volunteer org tables at Pride events who are there to provide resources and don't have mountains of free swag to give away).

And cops? That's a harder one. Blanket exclusion should be reserved for organizations that hold foundational animus towards queer people. That argument can certainly be made about police, but I would strongly advocate against any rule that insisted that cops can't participate. Off-duty, plain-clothes participation only (no rainbow colored police cars)? I dunno, but there's middle ground to be found somewhere.

It's wise to offer paths of redemption to people and groups who are redeemable, and if those paths are going to exist, it's up to us to map those paths out. We need more people on our side, and they're not going to find the way back to us themselves.

GOOD

I hope every pride parade leads with a diff on which companies suddenly couldn't make it this year after being proud supporters for so long.

I think battling over trans people's blanket inclusion in gendered sports was a poor political choice right now, but fuck this twerp in particular for running away from it so fast.

He's signaling "I'm willing to throw anybody under the bus to chase centrists," and the left can sniff out an opportunist rat as good as any terrier. I'm sure he's capable of saying the right words to convince a handful of rich ghouls to fund a presidential campaign, but NOBODY will show up for him that isn't getting paid. Guaranteed loser in a general.

I tune in to Gender Rebels. They don't post episodes frequently, but they're a fine hang.

One thing that shows up in this list over and over again is voluntary withdrawl from the Human Rights Campaign's (HRC) Corporate Equality Index. It's high time the HRC itself takes a lead on reporting which businesses are running away from it, but something tells me they won't. They exist on corporate donors, and if they start throwing corporations under the bus, they will likely see continued financial extraction.

Also, the 15 companies listed are:

• Google
• Aldi's
• Target
• Amazon
• Meta
• McDonald's
• Walmart
• Molson Coors
• Ford
• John Deere
• Lowes
• Harley-Davidson
• Brown-Forman
• Tractor Supply Co
• Toyota

I appreciate the sentiment. Thank you. We need all the support we can get.

I also want to take advantage of this post to share a bit about what's going through my mind right now, being a trans person in tech who has been out of work for a long time.

When large companies hide all of their diversity, equity and inclusion advocacy, this is sending a message to their employees. I don't have the privilege of passing for cis. When I interview with a hiring manager the fact that I'm trans is as visible as the nose on my face. And when it comes to making a hiring decision, that manager is forced to account for my trans-ness in their decision-making.

Hiring a transgender person can be perceived as stepping into a minefield of new problems that this manager may have never dealt with before. What if they slip-up and misgender me? Will I cry, or freak out, or rat them out to HR or the media? What if fellow teammates or coworkers aren't socially accepting? Or a customer? How will these problems that I face reflect on them as a manager? Business leaders at the highest levels have made a point to memory-hole their LGBTQ+ advocacy, so not only is my presence on their team no longer a boon to my manager for embodying diversity values, they can almost certainly no longer count on any air support from leadership if I were to run into any interpersonal problems. That manager would be on their own.

That's a lot. Then consider that all of that risk and uncertainty could be avoided if the manager just picked somebody else to hire.

That's the world I've been living in, and it's only gotten worse.

This problem isn't unique to folks like me, either. Swap out "trans" for any of the other marginalized groups that diversity, equity and inclusion initiatives sough to protect: disabled people, English-second-language speakers, black and brown folks, single parents. This is going to be a reality for all of them, too.

So thank you for your support, and thank you for giving me the opportunity to put these feelings into words that can live outside my brain for a change. They tend to echo with every "we've selected another candidate" email I get.

First of all, congratulations! I hope that you find the journey you are embarking on as soul-filling and effervescent as many of your trans siblings.

Coming out to my family is probably the most single difficult thing I've ever done. I was in a good place life-wise (financially, friends, relationships, etc), but I knew they wouldn't understand, and would likely say some hurtful things, all of which happened. Some people prefer to deliver the message via a letter or email in order to better compose their thoughts. I really like this idea in terms of crafting the message you want to send, but I also believe that it's an important enough matter that the people who you care most about deserve to hear about it from you first-hand (offering a letter or email after the fact to ensure your whole message gets through). Today, my family still doesn't quite get it, but it's no longer the anguish for them that it started as.

Be prepared for your life to change. Your good job could go away, and you could find it difficult to find a new one. That's the situation I've found myself in. I thank my lucky stars I have a partner that's willing to support me and enough of a nest-egg to get by without fearing homelessness.

I get my hair cut at an LGBTQ salon, and I think at least one of the stylists there is a trans woman. Would it be appropriate/inappropriate for me to ask her if I could talk to her about her experience?

As a general rule, I would flag that as inappropriate. Many many transgender women prefer to be seen as just plain old women. Approaching someone you suspect is trans and saying "Hey, I'm pretty sure I'm trans too! What up sis?? Can you help me?" has a high likelihood of making that person feel less like a woman (like any other) and more like a trans woman. Now it's also equally likely that they won't find it inappropriate at all and would delight in the opportunity to help you. You never know; people are all different. If I were in your shoes there, I'd talk to my regular stylist (the person who usually works with you) and let them know where you're at regarding your gender identity, and you'd like your hair to reflect that, but you're totally new to this, probably need a lot of help and aren't sure how to even ask for help. Let them know when you book your appointment that you want to do something new with your gender expression and would like help with it. Chances are that your regular stylist knows more about their coworker and how they prefer to be interacted with. Again, as a general rule, don't single out trans people for being trans; treat them they way they prefer to be treated and (if they want to) they will gravitate to you.

That said, you will definitely want to find some transgender friends. These will be people you can commiserate with, ask for favors, teach you about blue eye-shadow, all that nonsense. This could be tricky though, as there aren't a ton of common socialization venues just for trans folks. If you're in a reasonable-sized city, there's probably a queer resource center or website that you can start from. See if they have a bulletin board where people post meet-ups or activities that you can jump in on. Also, it may be a little scary, but look at starting one on your own! What are your interests and hobbies? If there isn't already a queer group for your activity of choice, make it! Queer and queer ally bowling team, or biking club, or movie fans, or sports, or whatever. Discord servers are popular these days, but finding people you can hang out with in meat space can't be replaced.

Oh, and hey, your lemmy friends are here to help too. <3

That was my first thought as well, but the details cover that. See section 2c:

(c) The phrase “chemical and surgical mutilation” means the use of puberty blockers, including GnRH agonists and other interventions, to delay the onset or progression of normally timed puberty in an individual who does not identify as his or her sex; the use of sex hormones, such as androgen blockers, estrogen, progesterone, or testosterone, to align an individual’s physical appearance with an identity that differs from his or her sex; and surgical procedures that attempt to transform an individual’s physical appearance to align with an identity that differs from his or her sex or that attempt to alter or remove an individual’s sexual organs to minimize or destroy their natural biological functions. This phrase sometimes is referred to as “gender affirming care.”

It also calls WPATH's finding "junk science" without offering evidence to the contrary, which has all the rhetorical weight of a 6-year-old shouting "NUH UHH!!"

Any discussion about rights for transgender people that starts with the roster choices on children’s sports teams is a bullshit discussion. It’s incendiary rhetoric designed to unsettle people who have never engaged with transgender people.

The counter-argument for that should be “do you know how many kids that affects? This is not a serious issue. You know what is? Trans victims of discrimination and hate crimes. That’s what we should be talking about, not some kids’ soccer league.”

Start treating this talking point like the ridiculous corner case that it is and pivot to the real problems.

Spoiler: It's a bunch of embedded twitter posts, without the courtesy of providing screenshots. If you have twitter blocked, nothing is visible.

The 94-page Democratic Party platform that was voted on and passed on the first day of the DNC can be read here: https://democrats.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/FINAL-MASTER-PLATFORM.pdf

Jump to page 56 for references to LGBTQIA+ issues, including specific callouts about the challenges of transgender people, as well as committing to pass the Equality Act (which sought to amend the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to prohibit discrimination on the basis of sex, sexual orientation and gender identity in a variety of contexts).

I've learned to not rely on politicians to push for my civil liberties. Politics will not bring about our societal acceptance; it's the other way around. It's up to us and our allies to change the minds of the public at large, and then, as like magic, the will for politicians to grant us legal protections will appear.