millie

joined 2 years ago
[–] millie@beehaw.org 31 points 7 months ago (1 children)

JK Rowling is definitely totally harmless, though, and we're all obligated to separate the art from the artist, and the populatity of Harry Potter has literally nothing to do with her social clout or ability to push her ideology.

[–] millie@beehaw.org 18 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I had two, and they were very different.

In the late 90s I came out as bisexual. It was honestly pretty uneventful. Anybody who would have had a problem with it had clocked me as queer long before I started exploring my sexuality. Don't get me wrong, I lived in a shitty, backward town and went to a highschool that several shitty backward towns sent their kids to. It definitely sucked for me, but it had been bad for a long time before that. The people who cared about me though? They continued to care about me.

In 2018, though, I came out as trans and started hormones about 6 months later. I lost what had been some close friends. Some were overtly transphobic and at this point either refuse to acknowledge my existence at all or literally glare daggers when they see me. Many others just drifted away. Some people have accepted me and treat me the same as they ever did, a few I feel if anything maybe a little closer to. Some people are still mostly friendly, but will sometimes misgender me, as though they don't dislike me but want to imagine me the way I used to present myself.

With family it was maybe a little awkward and some get it more than others, but it's been alright. One of my uncles still deadnames me sometimes, and while my Dad and I are fairly close for him being on the other side of the country, I don't think he's ever actually used my name. It was awkward with my Mom at first, but she's supportive of my transition now and it's become kind of the least of our worries.

The most difficult part, other than having lost people, is strangers and acquaintances. I never know who's going to suddenly throw their bigotry in my face or who's going to treat me differently the moment they get a good look at me. I think for the most part I'm pretty good at pushing past a lot of people's biases and letting them see me as a person. I usually find it easy to just be real with people and develop a rapport quickly. But with some people, nothing I could ever say or do will make a difference. There are some businesses I avoid like the plague because of the way they treat me, and others where I worry about certain people who work there but get along with others. Voice chat in video games gets kinda rough sometimes. I'm still working on my voice training and it's always kind of nerve wracking talking to someone I meet online in vc for the first time, wondering if their impression of me is going to suddenly change.

Being trans sometimes it feels like coming out never ends. It happens again every time a new person sees me. Like, they look at my clothes and hair, then they look at my face and my shoulders and they start doing math in their head. Or I open my mouth and it's a little more bassy than they expected or I'd like it to be. I've had laser hair removal, I've been on hormones for years and had some major changes, and my wardrobe at this point is all skirts and dresses, but I can tell that most people are clocking me pretty quickly. Not to say I don't think I look good or don't look femme. Thankfully I always looked a little androgynous without facial hair. But enough of the signs are there that you can see it clicks in people's heads.

Honestly, though, I own it. I am who I am, I'm proud of the progress I've made, and my body has changed substantially to the point that I'm much more comfortable in it. There are things I'd like to change, but I think that applies to most women. I wouldn't go back for anything, even when people are being shitty.

[–] millie@beehaw.org 19 points 9 months ago

These two are what we need. Good on them.

[–] millie@beehaw.org 2 points 9 months ago

I feel like Lemmy is going a great job collectively of diminishing every win against the Trump administration. Every step forward seems to get downplayed. If I limited my exposure to this forum I'd have a much bleaker picture of people successfully resisting. We actually had the supreme court come to a 5-4 decision against Trump's blanket firings.

If you only read Lemmy, though? You'd probably be inclined to assume that's all meaningless and we're already cooked. It's honestly pretty suspect.

I would urge everyone here to make sure it's not the only place you're getting your political messaging, and maybe take it with a huge grain of salt, because it's defeatist to the point of being propagandistic.

[–] millie@beehaw.org 12 points 10 months ago

Is it just an unfiltered series of posts? Personally a bit more sex-focused than I'm really looking for in my social media, but maybe if there were categories or something?

[–] millie@beehaw.org 6 points 10 months ago

The luer-lock syringes are definitely key. It absolutely sucks having a needle come off in your leg!

[–] millie@beehaw.org 22 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Accidental utopia.

[–] millie@beehaw.org 34 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Well nobody is born with sperm so..

[–] millie@beehaw.org 2 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Read my post before you reply to it. Thanks.

[–] millie@beehaw.org 53 points 10 months ago (15 children)

I always find it weird that conservatives think this is some kind of gotcha for binary trans people. Like, okay, this is a shitty thing to say to nonbinary or intersex people and is both untrue and cruel. But how is this relevant to me, a binary trans woman?

Like.. hello my gender isn't 'trans', it's 'woman'. Idiots.

[–] millie@beehaw.org 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I can't believe this needs to be said for some of the people commenting in this thread, but coming into a thread where someone mentions a trans woman's name and responding to that name by suggesting childishly transphobic insults based on that name is literally just you posting transphobia.

Anyway, all the best to the two of you, Peter. I'm glad you've found some joy in the mess that this world has been lately. I know it's weighed on you and I'm glad to hear some good news

[–] millie@beehaw.org 7 points 11 months ago

I wouldn't assume that most queer-supporting activists are atheists. They're probably not latching onto bigoted religious organizations, but there's a massive range of worldviews between adherence to any particular religion and a firm belief in a lack of deities or of other things we'd typically qualify as religious, spiritual, or supernatural. They're probably unlikely to be your typical churchgoing conservative Christian, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're fully landing on atheism specifically.

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