There are very few colors that actually look good on me so goth I am :D
SquishedFly
joined 2 years ago
What helped me a ton was getting other issues in my life fixed. Especially getting my ADHD meds really made things a lot easier. Starting off small with fingernail paint like I've heard here or growing out your hair is an incredible confidence booster. And if you can't do even fingernails yet, do your toenails and never wear anything open toed. You still have that "hehehe I'm doing something girly" without the struggle of someone seeing anything. (Also helped me a lot getting over the "oh my god, my feet are so huge and manly and ugly" feeling)
I think you should keep in mind that transition timelines and success stories are just that. Stories about specifically the success, not the full story...
Over all I'm incredibly happy with my transition but I feel like for almost all of us, there is going to be at least one wrench in all of it. Friends/Family we had to cut out of our lives, belittlement from people, outright discrimination, or even just the nightmare that getting HRT is.
You got this, even if it takes you time. And you're not alone in your struggles!
I used to use a (female) nickname for anonymity sake on the internet sometimes and it kinda grew on me...
Since I liked both that nickname and by dead name somewhat, I decided that I'd try a mix between the 2 names and it sorta worked but I was never really convinced. That was until I was going through some old google accounts of mine and noticed that I had a profile pic of a character from a game that I really liked and was incredibly similar to the mix between my nick- and dead name (and could be considered gender neutral).
The only issue was: since it's a very uncommon name, not only did no one know how to spell it, there was also a very good chance that the responsible government agency for name changing stuff would outright reject the name because for some reason you can't have a uncommon/strange name (the rules are extremely vague).
So while that game char name grew on me for a year, I basically had to come up with the name that I actually took within like 2 weeks because of other regulatory issues...
So I picked a pretty common name where I can say "oh, please use [game char name] as a nickname". Don't get me wrong, I quite like the name I took but especially with friends/family it just feels way too serious in comparison. With most people even at work I go by the game char name as a nickname tho and I love it ( ᵔ▽ᵔ)
Edit: I also thought about using the female version of my former middle name - Valentina, but I have too many bad memories of getting made fun of my former middle name... Now that I think about it tho, I might add Valentina back as a middle name in the future
The most i'll allow you to do is draw the pentagram with your blood and even then only if you let me patch you up afterwards properly (ó﹏ò｡)
Let's just embrace it, we are a cult now. This means we need sacrifices!
The only question now is, are we gonna pick this guy or JK Rowling first to sacrifice
Also I'm sure someone else has told you that already but don't wait for estrogen or a name change until anything. The faster you get it done, the happier you will be
Had a similar experience in Austria (even tho people say that it's easier here). Pretty much took me a year too and I optimized the hell out if the waiting times with stuff like writing several doctors at once and seeing who would give me the fastest appointment.
I still have to go to Germany soon.... The waiting time for bottom surgery in Austria is 5-6 years....
Yea getting a compliment from a girl really shines up your entire day. I actually get a lot of compliments because of my style (basically a passing gothy tomboy) and every time it happened it just make me want to melt. Actually get hugs out of it sometimes too ;w;
The "gun" i mentioned is a pepper gun. It is a small plastic gun-like thing in the price range of 30-50€ and shoots pepper like a pepper spray
Edit: where I'm from, carrying an actual gun is pretty much illegal for regular civilians
Ngl the first time I ran down the stairs without a bra and I noticed that I needed to hold my tits so they didn't hurt was so euphoric
My hips to waist ratio actually got worse on HRT because of weight gain...
YES! YEESSSS!!!! I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS SO OFTEN. It has to be sooo nice to just plug yourself into a wall socket for a few hours to recharge your energy so you wouldn't have to sleep or eat. Or even better, just swap out batteries. Life would be so much easier but we're stuck in this mortal shell ;-;