Shirow

Congrats! ☺️

I had the same thought.

I haven't felt this yet?

The only thing my body is not yet aware is the change of size of my growing chest.

I've bump my chest multiple and it's a bit annoying since they are sensitive growing. Something about spacial awareness that my mind is used to and is different now?

Glad for you! Hope I can feel the same way about not fearing being able to boymode anymore. For now it scares me a bit about being out to everyone.

It's been 2 months for me and people will probably think of it as fat for now (even though they are definitely growing fast). Wearing a sports bra to bind them a bit and a large sweatshirt at work. But I feel like it's gonna be really hard to hide after 3 months.

I'm heavy at the same time this month I merely lost half a kilo (I've been a bit obscessed about my weight, well always have been. I'd like to be less bulky. I always felt like a small thing in a body that is too big for me. (And the clothes choice is better with smaller clothes 🥲).

But I've seen some changes from exercise and that's a good thing. Just need to be able to eat healthier (which is hard task since I'm a sugar junky and compensate for probably a lack of dopamine this way.)

I may add even without an option to turn back I would.

Awesome game FNV. I should replay it. (Even though it's harder for me to find the will to play video games now. Been better lately)

Then I don't really know what to say about depression. I've lived some hard times with it struggling with body issues and addiction (well mine is about sugar... I can't say it's the same as you but it never helped about my weight and liver). And my mom had some mental health issues that probably affected me too.

It's hard to find a reason to keep fighting. I struggled 3 years in university failing and at some point I started just going to the gym instead hiding from my parents that I didn't go to university. Mine was trying hard to fix myself and trying a fresh start ( I don't know how I started). But the turning point was when I met my wife I've met 8 years ago. I didn't even fathom my transidentity (I've been really dense and was probably running away from it.). At first I didn't know her troubles and then I had to stay strong to support her and pushing away my troubles to help her. (No that wasn't healthy for me...)

I can't really tell you how I've been handling this, there's ups and downs throughout our relationship, but so far I'm not taking any meds even though it would probably have been easier. Maybe I was running away from psychiatrist because I've never found one that I would consider safe?

Anyway, I think love made me push this far. I don't know if I will be happy with the changes of my body with HRT, but I keep hoping. At least even though if I'm not entirely happy with myself I know it will still be better than before. And mostly people will find beauty where you would not about yourself. It's hard to love myself but when I see my wife loving me and the way I look even though sometimes I loathe the way I look, well I glad someone can appreciate me this way.

I don't know if this message makes sense or will help but that's a sum up of my experience.

Wish I knew sooner to but better late than never ☺️

Awesome change though, in almost 2 months in.

I'm a bit jealous. You look great ☺️

You've just put word on something I've been dealing with since my teenage years : anhedonia. Something I've been dealing without medication for 15 years or so.

I feel more at ease with myself since I started HRT. Still I don't know if I should consult for that. I know I've been better lately since my egg cracked and started HRT like I've been laughing more easilly, feeling more to be put bluntly.

It feels like you are describing me. 😅

👉👈

Thanks for the clothing advice.

As for work well... That's a wait and see... Probably will wear a sport bra real soon. My breast growth has been fast for a month.

For work, I'm contracted for 3 years. I will fight and not be silent towards incorrect behavior.

As for parents it's more complicated. My dad is racist (not hatred towards everyone but still the mind of the good ones and the bad ones), homophobic (like saddly a lot of 60 years old)but dependant administratively on me or my brother and sister. Since I'm the only on close physically. He won't have a choice to accept, and probably because he loves us in the end. As for my mother. I'm afraid to trigger something about her schizophrenia. I won't extend about it because the goal is not to trauma dump.

In the end I'm doing this for myself. My choice to transition will have consequences but I choose to care and express myself now. Better that than living and denying my own needs and wants like did before.