ReluctantMuskrat

The split keyboard designs are so much better when you get used to then - which doesn't take long either - but they're so hard to find now 😥

I too was constantly accused of cheating throughout my first marriage. Not for any reason other than her suspicions... it was exhausting! She also took offense to the fact that I'm not the jealous type. Some dude would hit on her and she'd be upset it didn't make me mad. I'd respond "Are you interested?" "Well no!" "Then why should I be worried or upset. I trust you." It took me far too long to realize she suspected me because she knew she'd cheat on me if the situation were reversed and she figured everyone was like her.

During our divorce our court-ordered psychiatrist said he believed she suffered from some psychosis but would need more time to properly diagnose it. Since then I've come to realize her behavior is well-described as a vulnerable narcissist, and combined with her alcoholism and paranoia she destroyed just about every relationship she had before she died. It was a very sad and lonely end... I wish she'd have gotten help.

Dude I'm glad you're in a better place. Our lives have very strange parallels. I was with my crazy ex from 17-32, she also falsely accused me of raping and beating her, telling our friends, family, my coworkers and neighbors - I even got a night in jail, but thankfully recorded conversations of us talking about her bruises and her saying she'd falsely accuse me - and I dealt with her craziness and fought for our marriage for years only to find she was cheating on me. When I found out and threw in the towel she went completely unhinged, especially when I got involved with another woman. My ex also died not long after we divorced.

I've now been with my wife much longer than my first and it's been nothing but wonderful. I did not let my experience with my ex change my outlook on marriage and relationships... I don't want to be with anyone that doesn't want to be with me, and I'm convinced anyone cheating is going to screw up and get caught so there's no need to be suspicious and go looking... it'll reveal itself in time, and if so, I'll say goodbye. Unwarranted distrust does great harm and it seems to be projecting with most people. Trusting each other and loving each other's company is the mainstay of a great relationship and I'm so thankful I went from a nightmare marriage to what's really an unrealistic movie romance. I didn't really think such an amazing relationship was possible.

Glad to hear you're in a much better place and relationship. A past of bad experiences should make you be more careful who you get involved with but if you use it to build walls around yourself, you hurt your relationships. Love with your all and don't live in fear of betrayal. It's the only way a relationship can become what your heart longs for.