OldEggNewTricks

So I started DIY a few months ago using estradiol gel for monotherapy (2.5g 0.06% gel applied scrotally twice a day for a total of 3 mg estradiol / day). I saw plenty of expected effects, including nipple sensitivity and no more spontaneous erections (after a month or so even direct stimulation was starting to get less effective). No blood tests, but I conclude estrogen levels are probably OK-ish and testosterone must be somewhat suppressed.

This month, I get on prescription injections instead at last. The standard course here is monotherapy, 10 or 20 mg estradiol valerate (Progynon) as an IM depot injection every two weeks. Different schedules, progestogens, anti-androgens etc are available but I'm probably going to have to advocate for that myself if necessary. First injection, 10mg; I stopped using gel that day. All seems OK, but a few days in, I start getting erections at night again. Weird, but I assume it could be an occasional thing. By day six, they're happening every night, sometimes getting semi-hard during the day too. Nipple sensitivity has pretty much gone so I conclude the injection has worn off and go back on gel. Everything reverts to "gel normal" as above.

Injection two, two weeks after the first, I get 20mg this time. Stop gel again. After a few hours, boom lots of breast sensitivity / swelling. I'm guessing this is a pretty good indicator of E levels. That's slowly dropped down to gel-like levels over the subsequent few days and what do you know, the erections are back again. I conclude peak levels were a bit higher than gel, but dropping off rapidly again and probably not going to last the full two weeks. (This is consistent with the simulator on transfem science).

I'll be asking for blood tests next time and checking with the doctor, but I'd like to get a straw poll: does anybody see random erections even with T suppressed? Am I overthinking things? I'm not seeing a massive return of BO or anything, so I assume T isn't getting that high, but god damn I hate waking up to that thing.

I mean it's not bad, but I still got that husky clocky thing going on. Still need to dial in the sharpness, get more consistent, and find the confidence to go all-in.

I always wondered why that line resonated with me so much... now I get it.

How exactly do you shave your back?

Sitting in my underwear, torturing myself with my new toy, I thought: "What I'm doing now is pretty fucking girly. I love it."

I can make all the sounds, but maintaining a feminine tone is still pretty hit-or-miss. Since I spend all day at work talking to my team online, I figured it would be good to use that time for voice practice. (I'm already out, so hopefully they won't think I'm going insane)

I've been slowly pushing the pitch up over the past few weeks to avoid straining, and with a pitch tracker going it looks like I'm sitting at around 150 Hz right now (for reference I usually aim for 200 Hz when training, which I can comfortably manage for short periods). Not quite target pitch, but at least I'm not dropping out of the androgynous range too often. End-of-day huskiness is slowly getting better but my resonance is all over the place.

Anyway, how do you all get your practice hours in? Any fun anecdotes? I'm still in awe of all the trans women on Youtube with perfectly passable voices.

I'm not complaining, mind.

So it's almost exactly two weeks since my first session. I went to one of the high-power places that needs a medical license (at least in this country), but my somewhat light-colored hair and total lack of pain during the procedure made me really worried. The first week or so showed no progress, the hair seemed to be growing as normal. Then it got a bit thinner, or maybe I was imagining it?

But no, just today, it's been a whole day and almost no stubble or shadow! About 80% has just vanished (most of what remains is on my upper lip and beneath the jaw). I realize that the dormant follicles and so on are going to wake up soon, but I've still got several sessions to go.

So if you've just started and had the same worries as me, really: wait two weeks!

I am unreasonably excited about this. Sorry, past self who waited so long for his beard to come in: you don't need to worry about trying to look masc any more!

(Happiness to despair)

1. Dressing fem feels so good!
2. Everything that fits is in the wash.
3. Guess it's boymode today
4. I can't even just no

So I seem to have gone from "this plain T-shirt is secretly from the women's section, nobody will notice!" to "goddammit I'm dressing like a man I feel so ridiculous" without realizing. Um.

Happy ending, though: I forgot to unpack the skater skirt and stripy socks from my Trans Starter Pack™. Very un-stylish but who cares!

It's super cute, but not so feminine as to contrast my face.

It hides the bits that stick out where I don't want them to.

It fakes the bits that don't stick out where I do want them to.

It's comfortable. It's (a little bit) spinny.

I'm never taking it off! That is all.

Crying Menhera-chan

Top caption: Called the clinic to book pre-HRT counselling

Bottom caption: What if I'm not trans enough for them to give me hormones

PS Image uploads still broken :(

I was going to make this a meme, but image uploads are broken.

So after spending way too much money and buying All The Things on Amazon, I've noticed a pattern.

1. Browse clothes
2. "Oooh, that's pretty!"
3. Check size
4. Shucks, too small
5. Buy it anyway