Please read the rules of the community before posting. If you're banned and wondering why,
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
Yes that includes any kind of debate. This is not the community for any form of that.
We have to. If we yield then there's no one standing up for trans children. As tempting as escape is, we cannot abandon them. We cannot abandon ourselves and our community. I'm sorry. I wish it wasnt this way, dearly.
As deranged as it may be to take comfort in a quote from a fantasy book, a quote from lord of the rings brings me some degree of comfort.
So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.
Getting bogged down in wishes to be in a different world can stop us from making this world better. We can't change what's already happened, all we can do is take actions now.
I really like the way you reframed things. I also experienced repeated setbacks to getting bottom surgery, I know how devastating it is. Taking the time to shift your focus to areas of your life that do make you happy is really important.
Most fascists are in it for personal gain. Hitler's inner circle were notoriously power hungry and backstabbing towards each other.
A dean being fired over the gender unicorn. What a time to be alive.
I dont really have anything else to add that other people haven't already. I just wanted to say that everyone is welcome in this community regardless of the pronouns they use. If transfem feels like a label that applies, even partially, then this community was made to be a safe space for you.
Also, we as a gender diverse people don't have an obligation to explain why we prefer the terms we do to other people. You dont have to justify using the pronouns you do here. Like if someone in an unrelated thread asked you why you use he/they and identify as transfem, in a gatekeeping way, we would take moderator action against them.
You are absolutely welcome to post here. :)
I appreciate the sentiment you're expressing here. I work over the phone and get misgendered pretty well round the clock every day. I even give my pronouns as part of my opening, like "Thank you for calling, this is LadyAutumn speaking, my pronouns are she/her, how can I help?" My voice does not pass though so like. ~90% of the time I get misgendered anyway. It's nice when I'm practicing my voice and do get gendered correctly more often, but its a lot of work to maintain that and I have long struggled with vocal training.
Its hard to explain to people the mental toll of being misgendered for 9 hours a day every working day. It makes you dissociate a lot. I usually dont bother correcting people unless they seem intent on misgendering me every single sentence. But, yeah. It wears you down. It messes with your confidence a lot. Like sometimes I look in the mirror after and it feels a little weird remembering oh yeah I actually do like who I am and like the way I look. Like being misgendered so consistently for so long just makes my brain foggy and makes me forget all the things I do like about myself. I manage alright and take care of myself, but somedays are still pretty hard.
People lack empathy of this experience a lot. I dont hate the people who unintentionally misgender me. I don't blame them at all for the most part. I just assume they weren't listening when I gave my pronouns or forgot or whatever. But whether its intentional or not doesn't really make a huge huge difference in how it makes me feel? It's like someone constantly calling attention to your worst insecurity that makes you feel powerfully misunderstood and uncomfortable. Thats going to hurt, whether the person doing so is doing it intentionally or not. I relate a lot to the way women with fertility issues describe feeling when asked about when theyre having kids. Like its not exactly the same feeling, but its that same thing with a really bad insecurity being called attention to by someone who is well meaning and oblivious. Doesn't really hurt any less than if they were doing so deliberately.
Tried a few out before landing on my name. I went by another name for a couple months that just never really felt right. Then I found my name and every single person in my life was like "it's perfectly you". People still say that after they've known me for a while haha. I'm pretty sure I found the actual name just by scrolling through a name list. It jumped out at me right away and I was really really happy when I told my friends and they first started using the name for me.
I've read conflicting studies on this. Breast cancer doesnt have a single root cause, and several of the genes associated with developing breast cancer can be inherited by people who have a Y chromosome (which has been shown to significantly increase the risk). I believe current guidance after a trans woman has been on HRT for 3 years or more is to treat their risk profile as being equivalent to a cis woman with their genetics and family history.
My mother died of stage 4 breast cancer. So did my great grandmother, and one of my aunts. Consequently I have been getting annual checks on the recommendation of my doctors.
Studies have also shown that family history of breast cancer can and does translate to increased risk for cis men (still comparatively much lower than for cis women, but nontheless still present). Needless to say, if a first degree relation to you has had breast cancer it should be treated as a serious risk regardless of your assigned sex, its just harder to detect early if you have breast tissue. Which is why getting checked is important.
To any cis people wandering in from c/All, please review the rules of this community and consider you may not have the same first hand experiences as trans people.
Cis people are welcome to participate here so long as they're not disrupting the safety of our community. Spreading misinformation and maintaining ignorance is not acceptable here.
In an ideal world being transgender would be of literally no consequence. We do not live in such a world. Being trans is life or death across the vast majority of the world. The disclosure of transgender status is a massive vulnerability that is unwarranted in >90% of medical situations.
This thread was not created with this discussion in mind. If it continues to be derailed I will lock the thread.
If we are talking like. Any conceivable body modification is possible, then I'd like to be able to conceive my own children and undo the effects of testosterone on my vocal chords. Ive grown pretty attached to my body after getting bottom surgery 2 years ago. There's not a lot else I'd like to change about it. I'm tall and my hands and feet are sorta big. My shoulders are sorta wide. But I dont mind that stuff as much. I think I'm pretty even with those things.
So I guess I'd mostly have the same body I already do have. But I wouldn't turn down fancy nanobots that could like. Prevent cancer and stuff. I think that'd be pretty sweet. Getting breast cancer is a very real fear of mine, so the idea of a world where that doesnt exist anymore is pretty significant to me.